Blowcephus

David Whited

Rumor has it that Frank Sinatra, Jr. is plotting a career path modeled much after Hank Williams, Jr.’s brief but very successful second incarnation. Sources say Frank Jr. jumped off a cliff onto his face, grew a beard, developed a drug addiction , put on 40 lbs, and has started wearing sunglasses and Nudie suits all the time. Frank Jr. has also been assembling an album that is comprised of 6 songs with Frank references, as well as 6 covers of Frank songs. The standout cut is said to be a modified version of a successful 70’s country song. The song, now titled “I Don’t Think Frank Would’ve Done it Thataway,” was chosen to showcase Frank Jr.’s keen political insight. The song is a direct plea to President Clinton to either resign his post or else “Take a few lessons on ‘How to do a Broad’ from MY Old Man.” The album, originally scheduled for release in November, has been delayed due in part to the opening of Deer Season. Frank expects to release the album before the Impeachment trial is over, and merchandising deals have already been signed for the rights to use Frank Jr.’s image on a variety of products ranging from imported black velvet paintings to carnival prizes. ◼