Gwar

Gwar

We Kill Everything

Metal Blade

Excellent new ass-kicking album from Gwar!

But first, never did I think there’d be a day when Gwar would out-do themselves in terms of recording a more sickening song than Jonbenet’s anthem “Have You Seen Me?” — during the Scumdogs of the Universe tour they even had (gasp!) singing milk cartons on stage…

Anyway, We Kill Everything begins with the rousing (and probably illegal to play in some countries) “Babyraper.” Y’know, there’s some parent out there who’s going to buy this record for their disgruntled teenager…

The next song is the delightful “Fish Fuck,” containing the marvelous line “…gonna take a river carp and ram it up your butt…” Joy! Gwar introduces a new scumdog, the “dick-headed” wizard, Scroda Moon, whose main purpose is to explain a new chapter in the Gwar files. This time there’s some sacred tablets that’ve been stolen and, ‘lest the universe explode, Gwar had better find them. The story is told in detail through a few songs, most notably “Tune From Da Moon” and “Jiggle the Handle,” the latter having the fangy-toothed, giant toilet as protagonist. (If you’ve not seen Gwar live, trust me: there’s a nine-foot high evil toilet on stage.) Equally horrible are the disturbing tunes “Penile Drip,” “The Master Has a Butt,” “I’m Fucking An Animal” and “Escape From the Mooselodge.”

Now I must be fair and note that there are four “nice” songs on We Kill Everything . Nice both in lyrics and musical style. “The Performer,” ska — if you can believe it — tells the said and somewhat frightening story of life on the road; “Mary Anne” is in the “grunge-pop” vein and, since there’s no profanity in it, could even chart if enough saps get fooled into thinking it’s a reborn Nirvana; “Nitro Burning Funny Bong” done in the key of “D” as in “Dictators;” and “Friend” that will bring tears to your eyes with its sickenly sweet harmony.

We Kill Everything , nevertheless, is destined to send off many a warning signal in the suburban high schools — we hope.

Metal Blade Records, 2828 Cochran St., Suite 302, Simi Valley, CA 93065-2793; http://www.metalblade.com

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