Team Rodent: How Disney Devours the World

Team Rodent: How Disney Devours the World

by Carl Hiaasen

1998, Ballantine Publishing Group

Thin little thing. Easy enough read in one sitting. Done by a guy who really knows how to use the written word to get and hold your attention. And he just RIPS the fucking Mouse a nice new asshole! Hooray for the good guys! Finally, somebody, somewhere, has come out against that motherfucking corporate mind control machine.

Hiaasen’s a Floridian (me too), and he’s not at all pleased with what Disney has done to the place since coming down here and basically taking over the whole damn state. The arrogant assholes seem to think they now OWN the place, and are more or less behaving that way. Being oh-so careful to put up the impression (Disney is, if nothing else, the best in the world when it comes to well disguised, sweet-tasting bullshit) that they are giving the people (dammit, I’M one of the people too, and I don’t like the whole rotten operation one little bit) exactly what they want.

In CH’s crosshairs come local politicos who can’t roll over and say “Fuck me,” fast enough; peeping toms on the Disney payroll, poking holes in the wall and wanking off while looking at the female employees change costumes; mysteriously arranged court rulings that always seem to favor Disney; psychotic secrecy about the actual inner workings of the operation; a rhinoceros that dies with a sharp stick shoved up its ass (no I’m NOT kidding here); huge shoals of idiot tourons who come down to Florida and manage to never see Florida at all even as they pay top dollar for the “experience;” control of the worldwide media; wholesale rape of the local environment… Oh hell, it just goes on and on and on.

Suffice it to say that Disney is most manifestly NOT the cute, fuzzy little thing it wants you to believe that it is. No siree. The sonofabitch has got poison fangs and swings a very heavy club.

It needs to be CURBED.

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