Features

Secret Links!

It’s a secret! Don’t you want to be a part of the game? How do you know who else is playing? Haw-haw-haw! The Web is a “great” source of “forbidden” information. Knowledge shall set you free, no? No! Knowledge will make you paranoid! And rightly so! Check out these sites for starters if you want to be in on the “secret.”

Products for Home and Business, Work or Play!

“Hidden Doors.com(http://www.hiddendoors.com/)”

“Hidden doors and secret rooms were once only the domain of the luxury home owner. Now, however, thanks to the ingenuity of The Hidden Door Company, this product is available to all consumers!”

Build your own House of the Seven Gables! Dude, if you’ve got the bucks, they’ve got the doors!

“A Secret Store(http://205.207.162.154/magical/index.html)”

“Very well then. You are entering into a secret realm. A place where reality and perceptions are manipulated. Here, mystery and magic are…created. Moments of the impossible…for the hell of it. Mind blowing deceptions and illusions. You are welcome here. But leave your assumptions for another place. You are entering into a world like no other. We’ll guide you. We will provide you with tools to do … incredible things. There is a price. Discipline. Time. Money. But the reward is … unbelievable”

(Psst: it’s a magic shop!)

“Secrets of the Web(http://www.kaleidoscope-dts.com/secrets.html)”

“Providing authentic secrets that will vastly improve your Website’s position in the search engines, this free report exposes the naked truth by describing meta tags, keyword density, search engine placement, and how to submit your URL right on target!”

Hmm, since the Web is really starting to SUCK due to “link rot” this might be your way around things. Just don’t tell anyone…

“The Trade Secrets Home Page(http://www.execpc.com/~mhallign/)”

“The law of trade secrets dates back to Roman law, which punished a person who induced another person to divulge secrets relating to the master’s commercial affairs. The modern law of trade secrets evolved in England during the Industrial Revolution and the first reported trade secrets case in the United States dates back to Vickery v. Welch, 36 Mass. 523 (1837)…”

Rest assured, there’s an army of lawyers out there ready to protect you and your creativity!

“Secret Door(http://www.solgroup.com/notax/door.html)”

“When you click on the “Secret Door” icon, you will be spirited away to a special place, where you will discover some sort of special information.”

Warning: it’s bullshit about “secrets” for not paying your taxes. You could end up in jail, then again…

“Hidden Camera Systems(http://www.global-usa.com/rhs/hidden-camera.htm)”

“We are a leader in hidden camera technology. Hidden cameras have become important in today’s society. Hidden cameras can be used to watch employees, nannys, babysitters, the elderly, or a spouse.”

And more! If you’re looking for a good spy store, try this one.

“Swiss-Banks-R-Us(http://www.swissbanking.org/)”

“The leading site on Swiss banking, finance, banking secrecy, dormant accounts, money and private banking from the Swiss banking association.”

Are you rich? Want to stay rich? Why not open a Swiss bank account now!

“Car Prices Dot Com(http://www.carprices.com/pricingreport/newcars.html)”

“Car dealer secrets information from Carprices.com”

Guess how much it’s really worth!

“Clandestine Dot Com!(http://clandestine.com/)”

“From Bomb Suit Refurbishment to Customized EOD Protection, American Body Armor is a full Explosive Ordnance Disposal Provider”

The store where “Q” gets his supplies…

Fun and Games!

“Secrets of Titanic(http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Agency/8515/)”

“Welcome to this webpage that is dedicated to the biggest movie of all time – TITANIC. This webpage was made in an attempt to give you a look at all of the things behind the scenes, things you missed or parts that were deleted from the film, before or after shooting. To find out what you missed use the panel on the left to navigate this site. Please feel free to look around the message board and post anything you like, especially about Titanic and its cast.”

Danger: High Dorkage factor.

“UK Wife Porn-o-rama(http://www.wiveseroticstories.com/)”

“Secretive Endeavors of Cheating Wives Sexual Relations! Click Here For The Cheating Wives Sex Stories! Click Here For FREE Sex Stories XXX Pics In Your Email! Click Here For FREE Sex Stories XXX Pics In Your Email!”

I’ve not had a look, but British porn is usually clothes-on. Caveat emptor!

“The Picasso Conspiracy(http://web.org.uk/picasso/)”

You never know what you’ll find in a Picasso painting!

“Hidden Mickeys(http://www.hiddenmickeys.org/Disneyland/Secrets.html)”

“In the Team Disney Building, inside the main entrance of the building you will see a red ceiling with black lines. If you look, the black lines form a Hidden Goofy.”

This and more about what’s “between the lines” at the Land (and World) of Disney!

“Incredible Adventures(http://www.incredible-adventures.com/)”

“For three or six days live the life you have only seen in movies or read about in novels. Each trainee at COVERT OPS will experience all the thrills and excitement of the clandestine life in a completely safe and secure environment.”

Fantasy Island is truth! Yes, you can be a secret agent – if just for a week.

“Secret Research(http://www.northcoast.com/~secrets/)”

“Anything shrouded by silence nudges at the corners of our minds, needing to get out. Confession is good for the soul – especially when it is given safely and when one knows that it will add to our overall understanding of human behavior. Here at SECRETS you are given an opportunity to reveal yourself in a form which will help you sort out and catalog your lighter and darker moments.”

Be part of a big research project that seeks to compile everyone’s private secrets! No cheating, like listing your race as “martian,” now…

Big Brother and Others!

“Scottish Plans For World Domination(http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Lounge/5473/)”

The secret is out! Aren’t you glad you’ve been warned?

“The United States National Security Agency(http://www.nsa.gov)”

“ALL INDIVIDUALS HANDLING THIS INFORMATION ARE REQUIRED TO PROTECT IT FROM UNAUTHORIZED DISCLOSURE IN THE INTEREST OF THE NATIONAL SECURITY OF THE UNITED STATES.”

The National Security Agency and the National Cryptologic Museum. If you’re looking for true facts and trouble, click on through! This is the real thing, folks. Along with the CIA.

“Federation of American Scientists(http://www.fas.org/sgp/)”

“Project on Government Secrecy. Through research, advocacy, and public education, the Project on Government Secrecy works to challenge excessive government secrecy and to promote public oversight. The Project supports journalists and fosters enhanced public awareness of secrecy issues through publication of the Secrecy & Government Bulletin.”

Pinko scientists demand an end to government secrecy!

“The Electronic Privacy Information Center(http://www.epic.org/crypto/Clipper/challenge.html)”

“EPIC’s Challenge to the Secrecy of the Clipper Initiative: The Electronic Privacy Information Center (EPIC) has filed a federal court brief challenging the “national security” classification of information concerning the “Clipper Chip” encryption system and the underlying SKIPJACK algorithm. The brief was filed in opposition to the National Security Agency’s attempt to withhold the data from disclosure under the Freedom of Information Act.”

A challenge to the liberal fascists (who just happen to be in charge right now) who demand that you let them know what you’re doing with your computer!

“Aliens Among Us?(http://www.caus.org/)”

“CAUS will bring you the most reliable and credible evidence of the extraterrestrial presence as CAUS strives to end all secrecy while funding research into proof of ET contact.”

I think they’re called the “Center for Aliens in the United States” or something along those lines. Well, they seem to know about the ET’s running around the planet – something that your government denies!

Secret Codes

“Cryptography Research, Inc(http://www.cryptography.com/)”

“The leader in advanced cryptosystems Cryptography Research is dedicated to advancing academic research and providing industry-leading commercial services in cryptography and data security.”

Want to be a codesmith? These be the folks to speak with.

“Timeline of Cryptography!(http://www.clark.net/pub/cme/html/timeline.html)”

“It must be that as soon as a culture has reached a certain level, probably measured largely by its literacy, cryptography appears spontaneously – as its parents, language and writing, probably also did. The multiple human needs and desires that demand privacy among two or more people in the midst of social life must inevitably lead to cryptology wherever men thrive and wherever they write. Cultural diffusion seems a less likely explanation for its occurrence in so many areas, many of them distant and isolated…The invention of cryptography is not limited to either civilians or the government. Wherever the need for secrecy is felt, the invention occurs. However, over time the quality of the best available system continues to improve and those best systems were often invented by civilians.”

An excellent history of secret codes!

Secret Organizations and Shadow Governments!

“The History of Freemasonry(http://www.finearts.uvic.ca/~jmschlos/mashis.htm)”

“The Freemasons began in the Middle Ages as a guild of skilled stonemasons who built cathedrals and felt that they needed to form a type of trade union for protection. They further protected themselves by establishing a set of secret signs and by maintaining secret professional methods.”

Want to learn what the “G” means at the top of a Masonic Lodge? Check this site out!

“SSFTASS(http://www.geocities.com/Area51/2203/)”

“Secret Society for the Abolition of Secret Societies (SSFTASS): Unlike most Secret Societies we are not overly secretive–if we were we’d be forced to abolish ourselves before our work is done.”

Be part of a secret organization devoted to ridding the world of secret organizations!

“Masonic Music(http://www.ozemail.com.au/~davcooke/masonic.htm)”

“Masonic Music composed by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart: Freemasonry has rightly been called a system of morality, veiled in allegory and illustrated by symbols. But it can also be seen as an approach to God. It is not a religion, yet it is religious in nature. This is because it validates the spiritual nature of Man – the reality underlying all religions.”

Was Mozart killed for giving away secrets in The Magic Flute ? Could be…

“For the Most Beautiful…(http://www.monkeymen.org/index2.html)”

“The web version of the Principia Discordia is slightly more complete. When it’s done, you’ll be able to read it in booklet form, page by page, but I’ll also be making a more mixed up discordian society resource. Hail Eris! And, er, all hail discordia.”

If you have to ask, you’ll probably never know.

“CRYPTARCHY.NET(http://www.cryptarchy.net)”

“Cryptarchy literally means “secret government”. It also has a more subtle and complex connotation. The history of secret societies shows a silent struggle between many groups for power. The Cryptarchy is a not a conspiracy alone, it is a quiet and slow battlefield. Some have said that those who see evidence of a vast conspiracy are only agitated because they have not been invited to the secret hall of power and given a chair. The irony involved here has, like many Veiled Truths, a double meaning.”

Ever wonder about the crazy weather we’re having lately?

“Worldwide Piracy Initiative(http://www.piracy.com/)”

“The Worldwide Piracy Initiative indexes resources regarding freedom of information and expression, and forbidden knowledge. Security through obscurity has no place in a modern technocratic society. Prohibition of knowledge and of ideas must be stopped whenever possible, even when that knowledge may be dangerous or unpleasant.”

Arrrrr, matey!

Our Animal Buddies!

“Squirrels Have Taken Over The World!(http://www.squirrels.org/)”

“The official Squirrels page”

They’re more organized than you’d think.

“Secret Squirrel’s Home Page(http://www.80snostalgia.com/classictv/secretsquirrel/index.html)”

“Secret Squirrel (or sometimes referred to as SS or Secret Agent 000), and his undercover companion, Morocco Mole, fight crime in a way that, well, only cartoon characters can… with that ultimate weapon, corny jokes. Armed with only a purple hat and a white overcoat that both conceal a variety of strange, but secret weapons, he rounds up the most devilishly clever villains in the world. While James Bond escapes from capture by using a laser embedded in his hi-tech watch, SS uses a far more hi-tech approach, a pair of scissors he just happens to have hidden under his hat.”

Needs no explanation.

“Secret Squirrel Mission(http://www.shreve.net/~japrime/squirrel.htm)”

“While most people believe that U.S. military assets in place in the Persian Gulf theater were the first forces thrown into the battle now called Operation Desert Storm, the first blow in anger was launched against the forces of Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein from Barksdale Air Force Base… It remains the longest single air combat mission in military history.”

See???!!!

“The Maryland Chapter of the Anti-Squirrel Coalition(http://www.glue.umd.edu/~weave/cool/squirrels.html)”

Humans = “control,” Squirrels = “KAOS.”

Making the world squirrel-free and safe once again!

Grab Bag of Secrets!

“???(http://www.secretsolutions.net/)”

“Due to the nature of our business, access is only allowed to the site if you know what area you’re looking for.”

I didn’t know what I was looking for, so I stopped at the home page. You might know, though.

“The Avenger’s Front Page(http://www.ekran.no/html/revenge/)”

“This web-page is dedicated to all the imaginative minds who have dwelled in alt.revenge since it’s creation in late 1993. This is also the official home page of the avenger’s handbook.”

This is the most frightening web site out there. No, you won’t find an encyclopedia of train accident victim photos, there’s no collection of serial killer bios or anything like that. What you will find are all the possible (and then some) methods, lucidly outlined, for fucking with people. It scared me so much that I’m being nice to everyone as long as I live. ◼


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