The world is full of wannabe bands. The world is full of burnt out bands
remembered from a teen age alcoholic haze. Worst of all, the world is
full of people hoping to get on a guest list for those kinds of bands.
And all these people have opinions. Ink19 is here to bring salvation and
publicity and a starvation salary to all these losers.
If you started a band, and hope it will survive to Christmas before you
sink into a well deserved obscurity, Ink19 is here to help you. If you
made a CD on your brothers computer, and can’t get your college radio
loser friends to play it on their midnight to 3 am show, Ink19 feels
your pain. If ‘E’ is the only chord you can play, and you still a bit
shaky, Ink19 will send someone to hear you. If you throw dung on your
audience after a $5 cover and two drink minimum, Ink19 will give at
least one column inch to show your mother you’re a legitimate artist.
If you were big in March of 1977, Ink19 will really send some one to
talk to you, unlike the Rolling Stone, and it will print the results.
If your hair is bigger than your guitar and you opened for Cheap Trick
once in Biloxi, Ink19 remembers you. If your revival tour revolves
around strip clubs in central Florida, we believe you deserve a Black
and white photo, and we might stuff a few bucks in your undies.
If you have a burning desire to hang out back stage, no matter if you’ve
even heard of the band, Ink19 will put you there. If you think the band
may give you cocaine, Ink19 wishes you success. If you ever wanted to
have sex with a bass player, Ink19 shares your fantasy. If your friends
are easily impressed and you care, Ink19 will build your ego.
If you think your prose don’t stink, Ink19 agrees. If you have a
strongly felt opinion, Ink19 has a printing press. If you can’t figure
out all the complicated stuff involved in posting your high school
picture on a Yahoo home page, Ink19 has a website. Ink19 believes in
fulfilling you fantasies, so long as you can type a coherent sentence
and have an e-mail account. Just don’t expect a check.
Wankers of the world, unite. You have nothing to lose but your pimples.
Virginity, you get to keep.
Carl F Gauze
