The Suicide Machines

The Suicide Machines

The Suicide Machines

Hollywood

Gone is all the fire and spit, with the exception of “Reasons,” a song barely over a minute that harkens back to their punk roots. The other 32 minutes are filled with ultra-saccharine, over-polished melodies with sickeningly trite lyrics, perfect for those making the transition from boy bands to alterna-rock via their local hit radio station. They might as well just take the next step and change their name, as well. It would certainly make them more marketable to a mainstream audience, which seems to be the intent of this record. Or maybe it’s better to have a “dangerous” name, so their decidedly safe music seems less boring.

If their goal was to be pop radio bandwagon jumpers, then they’ve succeeded wonderfully, even including a rap-core song, “I Hate Everything,” and a cover of “I Never Promised You A Rose Garden” with strings (!). I just can’t imagine anyone who liked them before following them along on the journey. Shamefully disposable.

Hollywood Records, 500 South Buena Vista Street, Burbank, CA 91521

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