A Look Into the Future

A Look Into the Future

Since the previous 1000 years started out on a sour note, I think the next 1000 years will be pretty miserable. The Dark Ages, the Crusades, the conquest of the Western World, and the rise of the two-party system. It is amazing we made it to six billion people on this rock.

The 20th Century was an amazingly bloody hundred years. It opened with the Turkish massacre of untold millions of Armenians. It saw the rise of Fascism that gave history the Holocaust. Thirty years later, there was genocide in Cambodia, then Rwanda and Yugoslavia. This trend will not end in the future. As I write this, a cabal of Poughkeepsie Marxists is planning the ultimate destruction. It is written in their prophecy that there will be a religious uprising south of Winnipeg as the armies of the NHL assemble. This will culminate in the ultimate war eventually destroying every known religion on the planet and leading to the establishment of a universal cult of reverence around the pickled head of Lee Trevino.

The next 1000 years will see the aging of the world. With the aid of pills and supplements from the mega-conglomerates Pfizer and Merc-Medco will come immortality. Like Logan’s Run in reverse, breeding will be outlawed, and the last generation of young people will age until everyone has become a pill-popping, wrinkled mass of flesh bowing down to the preserved head of the great PGA tour pro.

Of course, space travel across galaxies will be achieved. NASA already has the jump on firing old people into space. Soon, that is all they’ll have left to do. They’ll empty out nursing homes on Earth and rocket them to Mars to work in the Viagra mines. Sources close to NASA divulged that they are already perfecting that sublime prune flavor to all their pureed space food.

A religious war on a global scale, the death of birth, and seniors in space. Not much to look forward to. Thank God I’m a 20th Century Man (but I don’t want to die here — thanks, Ray Davies).

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked with *

Cancel reply

Recently on Ink 19...

  • Sweet Crude
    Sweet Crude

    Créatures (Rhyme and Reason). Review by Bob Pomeroy.

  • Gregg Allman, RIP
    Gregg Allman, RIP

    Michelle Wilson gives tribute to the voice of an angel. Gregg Allman, RIP.

  • Preservation Hall Jazz Band
    Preservation Hall Jazz Band

    So It Is (Legacy). Review by Bob Pomeroy.

  • From Montenegro to Moldova: The Best of SEEFest 2017
    From Montenegro to Moldova: The Best of SEEFest 2017

    For the twelfth year, the South East European Film Festival (SEEfest) in Los Angeles showcased an impressive lineup of new features and shorts. Lily and Generoso Fierro provide a festival wrap up and their picks for the films that you cannot miss.

  • Justin Townes Earle
    Justin Townes Earle

    Kids In The Street (New West Records). Review by James Mann.

  • Christian Scott
    Christian Scott

    Rebel Ruler (Ropeadope / Stretch Music). Review by Bob Pomeroy.

  • Kivanç Sezer
    Kivanç Sezer

    Turkish director Kivanç Sezer’s powerful debut feature, My Father’s Wings, puts the spotlight on the workplace safety crisis that is currently taking place in his homeland. Lily and Generoso Fierro spoke with Sezer at SEEFest 2017 about his film and his need to draw attention to this issue.

  • Temples
    Temples

    Supporting their just-released sophomore record, UK synth-pop poster boys, Temples, attracted an SRO crowd to one of Orlando’s premier nightspots.

  • Rat Film
    Rat Film

    Baltimore. Rats. A match made in Maryland.

  • Bishop Briggs
    Bishop Briggs

    Bishop Briggs brings a stacked bill of up and comers to Orlando for a sold-out party at The Social. Jen Cray joins in the fun.

From the Archives