The Ice Storm

The Ice Storm

Soundtrack

Velvel

Please, somebody — anybody — explain to me what kind of person buys this album. Unless you’ve fallen in love with the way these songs work into the fabric of the movie, I can’t imagine anyone throwing on this disc, which sandwiches Frank Zappa’s raunchy “Dirty Love” between a Traffic oldie and, no joke… Jim Croce crooning “I’ve Got A Name,” for a cohesive listening experience. Add in some typically lame orchestral soundtrack music, a snoozy new Bowie tune that even David completists won’t be hitting the replay button on, a wildly eclectic mish-mosh of pop and rock hits from Harry Nilsson (“Coconut”), Free (“Mr . Big”), and I kid you not, Brazilian bossa nova master Antonia Carlos Jobim and you’ve got the most head-scratching compilation of… stuff… ever to share bit space on a single CD.

Do these soundtrack albums sell? And to who? When do these people play them? What other kinds of albums do they have in their collection? Who are their friends? What clubs do they belong to? I need to be aware of where NOT to go. I just don’t get it. I mean I love the Cornelious Brothers and Sister Rose’s wonderfully soulful seventies syrup standard “Too Late To Turn Back Now” as much as any 40-something boomer, but I sure as hell don’t want to hear it butted up against Sammi Smith’s sappy, sugar coated version of “Help Me Make It Through The Night.”

No matter how much you love this movie (I haven’t seen it yet but it’s on my list), it takes a sick mind to listen to its unbelievably non-cohesive soundtrack. I love almost every song on this album — individually -, but I can’t imagine ever wanting to listen to them in the same 45 minute chunk of time. Please, somebody, keep the people who buy this away from my stereo. Velvel Records, 740 Broadway, New York, NY 1003

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