Gardy-Loo featuring El Duce

Gardy-Loo featuring El Duce

Perverts on Parade

Off the Records

Folks, this is one for the history books. Before his untimely death under a train almost exactly one year ago, Mentors drummer and Grand Pooh-bah El Duce crashed at Gardy-Loo guitarist Ben Meyer’s house in Tampa, Florida and recorded these priceless songs with Gardy-Loo.

“Gardy-Loo,” of course, for those of you not yet in-the-know, is what English scullery maids shouted when they emptied the chamber pots from high windows above crowded streets. Gardy-Loo, the band, saw the name as being totally appropriate to their barrages of metallic poo-poo. Before wearing out his welcome at Ben’s house, El Duce and Gardy-Loo were able to collaborate and put together El’s spin on what Gardy-Loo is all about. According to the liner notes penned by Mentor bassist and banner-carrier, Dr. Heathen Scum, “Ben has a shit fixation, so El penned ‘First Shit of the Morning’ in his honor.” El Duce’s own fixations, drugs, sex, and drugs, are manifested in such hellacious anthems as “Squeal Like A Pig,” “Jackin’ Going On,” and “Buck Naked.”

But those are just the appetizers, the main course of disgusting musical imagery comes on with “Clitoctomy” (girls, you probably won’t care for El’s tribute to female circumcision), “Help! Dr. Foster,” El’s autobiographical song about Xanax, and, one that should go number one on the Billboard charts if anyone had a clue, “Senior Citizen Sodomy,” about El’s nursing home fantasies. The album ends with about ten minutes of El Duce recorded at a party or bar or back of a van holding court and instructing his adoring fans on crafting pranks with creative toiletry.

So Eldon “El Duce” Hoke is no longer with us, certainly a loss to the world. I had the privilege of meeting him a number of times and am actually sad that he’s gone to his reward. Pound a bumper of Olde English in his honor when listening to this must-get CD. Mentors web: http://www.web2000.com/mentors. Or Gardy-Loo, P.O. Box 7642, Tampa, FL 33673 Off the Records, P.O. Box 612213, North Miami, FL 33261-2213

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