Features • July 7, 1998January 3, 2023

The NCAA

I was declared ineligible for half the 1984 swimming season because I dropped one class the previous spring. Never mind that I had more than enough credits to qualify me as a college senior. This is the organization that lets convicted murderers, drug pushers, and car thieves maintain their free ride at big schools, yet I drop a lousy three credits one semester and I can’t compete in stupid NCAA Division III swimming for half the year. The entire collegiate athletic system should be nuked, the jerks.

David Lee Beowülf

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