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Dr. Plutonium Wilson
Ed Furniture
Dr. Plutonium is a 20-year old multimedia artist/musician/poet from Sarasota, Florida. He has performed several bizarre live shows around town, in which he combines assorted visual and sonic elements into a complete, enjoyable, multi-sensory experience. His latest work is an odd object which he calls “The Meat Glorification Device.”
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“It’s a glowing piece of steak on top of a lamp that’s glowing through. One leg of it is a spring. It’s really a table lamp. If it’s sitting on a table, over time, gravity will eventually make it walk itself off the table and destroy itself. Just like an aluminum Vega engine that was built by the same guy who made the DeLorean, some fucking crazy cokehead genius. He made this stainless steel car, a project with GM. The whole plan is that within 60 thousand miles it’s gonna warp itself and your engine is completely useless so you’re going to have to get a new car, so your car is dated by the mile. It’s a completely disposable car. The audience doesn’t know, I don’t think. But that’s what the whole idea was. That’s under the same conceptual idea as the lamp destroying itself after one year. The gravitational pull. This goddamn Earth is spinning around you know, what, 100,060 times a second, you know. Miles a second or whatever. The same concept. But conceptually, meat is glorified, they put dye in it. I’m not a vegetarian or anything, but it’s the truth. They dye meat red just so it looks pleasing, but when in actuality meat is actually gray or green, and when Dr. Seuss speaks of green eggs and ham, you know, that’s the original color of ham, I believe. Although no one really knows. The only people behind closed doors that know the actual color of the meat…they’re the ones that know. And I want to project this conspiracy. They even put in special lights over the aisles just to make the meat visually pleasing. I don’t have anything against green meat. Hell, I’ll eat green meat. The fact is, that we’re wasting our valuable color resources with these dyes that don’t just come from nowhere. To get these red dyes they have to extract it from a camels hump or something in some country where people…that’s their only commodity is red dye #36 that comes out of a camel’s ass, you know? Hooray. That’s all I have to say about the Meat Glorification Device.”
“dr_plutonium”
To Contact Dr. Plutonium Wilson, you may email him at: jwhitham@rsad.edu or call the Old World Hotline: (941) 488-7573. ◼
