Adjective City

Assassin You Can Run THIS IS CRAP! It’s really crap! Goddam Def Leppard wanna-be bull shit! This doesn’t even deserve any thought that I might put into a funny review! In fact, it deserves so little of my imagination that I’m just going to rip off Spinal Tap and say that this is a “CRAP SANDWICH”!!!!!!!!!!! I’m not even going to print the address because I hate it so much. (JW) • Jessica Bailiff Even in Silence (Krank) Jessica Bailiff has a sound that should garner her comparisons to Low and Azailia Snail, but her record, Even in Silence, just doesn’t have it. I tried to get into this record, but there just wasn’t anything for me to grab a hold of. (PB) • The Charlatans UK Melting Pot (Beggars Banquet) This is an excellent collection of greatest hits from the Charlatans. It covers all of their albums and includes a really cool mix of “Patrol” by the Chemical Brothers. It’s been a while since I’ve listened to these guys and this CD brought back a lot of hazy memories from my DJ days. If you like these guys check it out. If you don’t, why are you reading this? (DI) • The Collection Agency The Collection Agency Pretty standard funk work here. Maybe it’s because I lived in Gainesville for so long, but isn’t this funk thing getting boring? And then they had to do a speedy ska tune. Well, I don’t know about you but I was listening to bands like this a good five years ago (sub Skinnerbox?) However it can still be fun, and if you’re into fast funk with a ska-ish song too, then you’ll enjoy this and will probably be thrilled by a live show. Wonder what the “Blondie” sounding vocals are like live. Let’s see what’s next for these youngins. Nice record scratching too, but that is becoming the “wah wah” pedal of the nineties? (JM,PE) • Excelsior A Compilation of Dutch Guitar Pop (Spin Art) Normally, I flip over Dutch (actually, Benelux) guitar pop… but this just doesn’t do it for me, though to be fair it’s still leagues ahead of 90% of its American counterparts. If you want to hear some jaw-dropping guitar work set to interesting and unique melodies, you should track down a Brinkman Records compilation, or for that matter bands like Metal Molly, Deus or Mitsoobishy Jackson. Failing that, this would make an adequate substitute. (IK) • P. Paul Fenech The Disease (Cargo Exclusive) The only reason I chose to review this CD is because Cargo was distributing it. I must say that this is one of the worst pieces of shit that I have ever listened to. Rockabilly guitar, English-accented vocals, and production that is a step above garage recording… the bands that played in my high school talent show were far superior than this. My dog shitting on the ground and eating it exudes more talent than this. To steal from Spinal Tap, this review can be summed up in two words: “The Shit!” (DI) • Goldo Goldo (Immortal/Sony) Fun funky pop. Kind of generic at times, kind of fresh at others. Probably a great live band, but nothing I’d want to listen to all the time. Too many wacky vocal rappings and songs about girls. “New Rock” stations will lap this shit up. (GS) • Liquid Soul Make Some Noise (Ark 21) When do you know you’ve ironed your pants too much? Liquid Soul’s rock-solid stew of funk, jazz, scratching, and technowizardry sounds like it cooks like a Weber live, but on this recording at times comes off as too sharp and polished. Still, moments like “Salt Peanuts/Chocolate Covered Nut” more than makes up for the razor creases. I’m a sucker for whacked-out scat. (KC) • Obo Diamond Loser (Shadow Records) I get the feeling that this is the future of neo futuristic New York dub. Or maybe it is just a really slow ambient acid jazz trip hoping relaxation therapy album with lots of bass. A DJ would dig this record to make some chill transitions or screwy ambient backdrops. A smooth burnout would dig this record in the bath. (GS) • Rhythm Method Sorrow 12” (Adrenalin) Intellegent pro house for the trance and pro break set. Four mixes, all of which are pretty serious.My pick is Stryke’s bubbly stomper, the “Acid Tears Mix” which is simply lovely. Adrenalin must be crossing over because there’s not one but two tribal numbers. Reccommended. (RTT) • Rrope Mahagony (Silly Bird) Noisecore from California. Rhythms and lyrics are pickled in dissonance, and the beat seems to be the leader everything follows. Heavy and constantly shifting. (KC) • Yontz Sucre Electric Jam (Buzzjam) In earlier times, Mr. Sucre might have gladly worn the cape of guitar hero. These days, it’s a little dicier to come out with richly textured leads and complex (read: progressive) instrumentals such as these. Overall, Electric Jam reminds me most of late ’80s fusion work by people like Trevor Rabin and Jeff Berlin. Solid – except for the track where Sucre decides to sing, a tragically maimed version of Hendrix’ “Little Wing.” Check it out for the chops. (MC) • Ultrababyfat SilverTonesSmile (Velvel) More ultra groovy, girlie pop from Atlanta’s Ultrababyfat. A very fun album, from the kind of band you’d want to stay at your house. Their sound may be a little too sweet for some of you jaded punks out there, but loosen up a little. We all need a little cotton candy too. It’s certainly nothing to base your life on, but it is a good, happy record. (PB) • Ana Voog anavoog.com (Radioactive) After listening to this CD a few times, I decided on the following the things: everyone should complete a high school education; club kids should not be allowed to make records of themselves singing over crappy beats; this country is culturally self-imploding. Although the album totally bites ass in the worst way possible, the Web site built around this artist is worth visiting. Go check it out: http://anavoog.com (GS)

Who Wrote About Them

Phil Bailey • Kurt Channing • Mark Chester • Drew Id • Ian Koss • James McFerrit, Private Eye • Gregory Schaefer • Richard T. Thurston • Jeremy Wernow

Where To Get Them

Ark 21, 3520 Hayden Ave., Culver City, 90232 • Buzzjam Music, P.O. Box 30773, Raleigh, NC 27822 • Cargo Records, 1525 West Homer, Chicago, IL 60621 • The Collection Agency: jcarroll@ch2m.com • Shadow Records, 111 E. 14th St. #334, New York, NY 10003 • Silly Bird Records, P.O. Box 14604, Berkeley, CA 94712 • Spin Art, 580 Broadway, Suite 1105, New York, NY 10012 • Velvel Records, 740 Broadway, New York, NY 10003 ◼