Sir Millard Mulch

Sir Millard Mulch

50 Intellectually Stimulating Themes from a Cheap Amusement Park for Robots and Aliens, Vol. 1

Ed Furniture Entertainment

This is like getting a big-ass bag of those gourmet jelly-beans. Uniquely flavored, pungent at times, and I’d be surprised if you liked all those different tastes. Consisting of over 50 tracks, the “music” here ranges — actually, “scatters” might be a better word — between spoken word pieces (mostly about food) and Sir Millard’s ubiquitously computerized virtuosity, with a handful of “covers” thrown in.

The spoken word stuff is head-scratching in its direct simplicity, with some twists and turns to keep it interesting. Odes to the banana, the lemon, broccoli, coffee, and more pepper the album. More recognizable are Mulch’s instrumental compositions (on an Atari 1040!), which end up sounding like the soundtrack to Super Mario Brothers after a degree in music theory. I know I’ve used that description before, but it’s about the only accurate way I can think of for some of this impossible music — “15 Interesting Things to Do With Tiny Chairs” and “Shit Rag #1” come to mind. “Take Off!” sounds more like an old Mexicana Airlines theme song than a McKenzie brothers tribute. Vocal songs, like “The Boy with the Perfectly Square Butthole” and “Kathleen” complement this trend with lyrics on the hazy side of surreal.

The covers follow the spirit, if not the letter, of the originals. Winger’s “Seventeen,” Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters,” and Faith No More’s “Last To Know” (among others) are attempted with various degrees of fidelity, but mostly none.

Just about this entire disc is guaranteed to make your guests appear uncomfortable. Gleeful as they may be in their hearts to have found this, they might find it difficult to admit it. Seek and enjoy at will. Ed Furniture Entertainment, P.O. Box 3240, Venice, FL 34293; http://www.geocities.com/Eureka/Enterprises/2891

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