The Jackie Papers

The Jackie Papers

Uckfay Ooyay

Stiff Pole

Three chicks and a guy play sloppy garage punk rock. Er, make that, three HOT chicks and a guy who looks like he’d worked twenty years in a Florida gas station play sloppy punk rock. Girls: I am an important rock journalist, right? You’d better “be nice” to me when I go to see you play, because I’m about to commit to print that I really dug your record.

I must have nearly every Stiff Pole release, and every one of them’s been Punk rock par excellence. Uckfay Ooyay , along with being really stoopid, hits the expected level of Punk rock I’ve come to expect from all the Tampa and vicinity-based punk rockers. Three chords and a hot tin roof over your heads sure makes for some great Punk rock. A cross between the snotty, angry Pink Lincolns (makes sense) and all the great New York Dolls and Stooges-influenced guitar punk bands, the Jackie Papers attack everything near and dear to the White Trash high school culture that’s taken over everyone’s lives. On “I’m Not Online,” they point the punk finger of righteousness at all the computer geeks who do nothing with their lives, now that they have a computer, except “chat” with other geeks. Chat rooms aren’t high-tech, they’re the equivalent of an ether-based trailer park! Yes! I’ve waited for a chance to use that one for years!

“Clowns,” obviously a swipe at nearby Sarasota and its circus flavor, screams, “I hate clowns you stupid fools/ You call that a career?/ Your parents paid for school/ You should have been an engineer!” Holy Shi’ite! Bravo, Jackie Papers, Bravo! There’s nothing like respect, I say… “King of Your Mom,” the most abusive song on the album, is the equivalent of having Andrew Dice Clay for a stepfather: “…For an older girl, she’s not too fat…Don’t get me wrong/ That girl is strong/ But I’m the king of your mom…” Man, even if you’d mix Southern Culture on the Skids with Murphy’s Law and Agnostic Front, I don’t know if the mix could produce something as brutally hilarious yet frighteningly possible (possible for any of you kids of single parents born after, say, 1978, that is).

And I can’t leave out a mention of the excellent instrumental “Coolio Iglesias.” Ha-ha! Uckfay Ooyay is an uckin-fay right on! The Jackie Papers, P.O. Box 310754, Tampa, FL 33680-0754

Stiff Pole Records, P.O. Box 20721, St. Petersburg, FL 33742

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