Dark Side of the Spoon

Warner Bros.

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here today to mourn the latest release from what used to be a quintessential and definitive act. As a fan of 10 years, Ministry was a band I loved and used to get excited about. Now after listening to their latest effort, Dark Side of the Spoon, I’m asking myself why.

Most of Ministry’s latest offerings are lamentably boring at best. “Kaif” sounds like a self-indulgent gothic dirge, while “Step” rips off Rob Zombie’s trademark growling “Yeah!” (I find this deliciously ironic, Ministry copping Rob Zombie, but I digress.) The album’s opener, “Supermanic Soul,” is just a speedy and degenerative mess. Despite its pseudo-clever title “Vex and Siolence” is neither vexy or siolent.

Notable exceptions to this sad release are The Artist Listed Only As Tycoon doing his best Jim Morrison impersonation on “Whip and Chain,” the seven minute churning epic, “Nursing Home,” (complete with scary dentist noises and a violin) and, good god, is that a saxophone on “10/10”?

Apparently, Al Jourgenson and Paul Barker were attempting a more classical Ministry sound, and had scrapped a years’ worth of work to re-record this CD. If only they’d scrapped most of this one, too.

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