The rules of major record labels reacting to bands reaping huge amounts of cash on modern rock radio stations are as follows: (1) take massive notes on the exact formula that has created the hook-induced tune currently bringing teeny-boppers to their knees, (2) find a rather untalented band, (3) mold them into exactly what your notes on currently popular band say, (4) fail, (5) repeat steps 2-5. This isn’t some misdirected gripe against larger labels so much as it is a startling and depressing realization for the motivation why a band as mundane and unmoving as Super TransAtlantic even has a record contract in the first place.
They’re Matchbox 20. They’re Eve6. They’re Semisonic and Third Eye Blind. Yet, if there was one minute iota of grace within the aforementioned bands that make them slightly pleasant to listen to — a virtue whose existence can be debated — then Super TransAtlantic doesn’t even have that. Choppy, distorted guitars, copy-cat vocals, non-existent basslines, one tune that is obviously a terribly ill-fated attempt at recreating the Chili Peppers, and a soul-tainting, pathetic version of the Police’s “Can’t Stand Losing You,” this band has the vitality of a pet rock.