Number 1: December, 1999

by Carl F. Gauze

Yes indeedy, there is kulture in the great

metropolis of Orlando. And it truly is a kulture with a K, just like

Krab in the local grocery store. It’s not quite as good as real Culture,

but is cheap, available, and generally tastes good enough for whatever

purpose you have at hand. Just like Krab.

Besides a vibrant musical scene, Orlando’s theater and arts scene has

more interesting things happening. Here are a few that occurred in the

past few weeks. Where the heck were you?

Amadeus Theater UCF

By Peter Shaffer

Director – Donald Seay</b>

God’s gifts aren’t distributed very evenly. Virtuous non-virtuoso

Antonio Salieri hears the most sublime music, yet he can’t write for

diddley. Beauty drips from the fingers of vulgar upstart Wolfy Mozart,

who can improvise concerti while filing his nails. Oh, the indignity! In

that most musical of cities, Vienna, the court of vacuous tone deaf

Joseph II draws the best European composers and musicians. Fame,

fortune, or dire poverty are passed out by the whims of court politics,

and Wolfy has stepped into the wrong pile. Salieri’s resentment grows

along with Mozart’s fame, and he swears to block both God and Mozart at

any opportunity. As court composer, Salieri has weapon, motive, and

opportunity. Wolfy doesn’t stand a chance. Driven to poverty and

madness, Mozart dies far to young, leaving the most magnificent body of

work ever composed.

‘Amadeus’ represents the most challenging production from Theater UCF

this season, with over 30 on stage actors. The troupe is well up to the

task, with the astounding Kareem Bandealy as Salieri presenting a

virtual one man show. Never off stage for more than a few minutes at a

time, he grabs the story in one hand and the audience in the other,

dragging both through his treachery toward Mozart. Mozart (Scott

Borish) keeps pace, with his braying laugh and petulant Chico Marx

look. Jordan Reeves as Emperor Joseph II provided a suitable straight

man for the on stage machinations and a cast of valets spend most of

their time adding and removing furniture for the aristocratic classes.

The first act dwells on Salieri’s presumed bargain with God and rise to

peak of the musical serving class. In the second act we understand God

neither needs to bargain, nor is under any obligation to keep His side

of it. Mozart’s miserable career peaks with the famous Requiem Mass. He

dies valiantly, only to be slid off the back of the stage into an

unmarked grave. Grasping vainly for success, Salieri understands how far

from greatness he remains. Abandoning God and virtue, Salieri betrays

not only Mozart, but art as well.

Kentucky Claus & The Redneck Elves

at Performance Space Orlando

Written & Directed by Jonathan M. Vick</b>

Happy Holidays. Mama and daddy burned to death last Christmas cause no

one checked to see if the tree was flammable. Now older (but not wiser)

brother Nate (Jonathan Vick) tries to keep the family together till

Blake (Bobby Algur) is old enough to keep himself, and maybe find him a

woman. Brother Zeke’s (Ken Jordan) out for blood ‘cause he thinks Nate’s

sleeping with his Bertha, but holds off killing him until after

Christmas for fear of missing out on the presents. Jake and Stuart want

to flee to LA for a singing career, Boon has to wear mama’s clothes

after getting frostbite on his butt, and everyone’s snowed in, there’s

no eggnog, and the truck keeps blowing up. And they shoot Kentucky

Claus in the knee. AND there’s no women. Damn.

Crammed into the intimate space of PSO, the cast and a full house make a

tight fit, with people running around at full tilt, often in pitch dark,

throwing punches, shooting guns, and generally raising heck. The action

is fast, the jokes are furious, and despite the obligatory red neck

bestiality, the play is a scream. Vick not only writes a clever parody

of the classic poem ‘Night Before Christmas’, but builds it into a tight

comedy performance with a well rehearsed troupe. Stuart (Anthony Gobbi)

even does a respectable Blue Christmas to cover up some set changes.

The joy of “Kentucky Claus” flows from the semi-functional family

structure we all inhabit. Bad thing happen to good people, but funny

things happen to these people. Who of us hasn’t blown up a truck, set

the house on fire, left a dear relative to freeze in the woods, or slept

with a psychotics girl friend? And aren’t these foibles all the more

endearing on the eve of that most sacred of Christian holidays, when the

stores are all closed and we have to improvise dinner out of beef jerky

and yoo-hoo? Kentucky Claus will have you spitting your chaw out your

nose. Bring a hanky.

Lady Windermere’s Fan

by Oscar Wilde

Read by Orlando Theater Project and Seminole Community College</b>

In the oh-so-proper 1890’s beautiful and astoundingly naive Lady

Windermere (Gina Riviera) believes any gossip that comes her way.

Coupled with her husband’s slightly mysterious business arrangements,

she begins to doubt his fidelity. The flirtatious Mrs. Erlynne (Jennifer

Nelson) has taken a strange grasp on the hearts of all the men in

Mayfair, and Lord Windermere seems to pay for her upkeep! The Duchess of

Berwick (Christine Decker) firmly believes all men are scum, and who is

Lady Windermere to doubt? Couple this with the Victorian habit of asking

half a question, getting half an answer, and interpreting the results in

the most awful way possible, and the classic drawing room comedy ensues.

Wilde rescues this dreadful form, using it as a stalking horse for his

steady stream of sound bites. If Wilde were alive today, he’d be

president.

With a minimal set, but very nice costumes, this differs from a full

production only in the players have librettos to read. Prior to the

play, Butler Parker (Bill Mitchell) flits around the lobby, assuring

guests they will each have the best seat in the house while chiding maid

Rosalie (Dana Wilson) to dust, clean, sweep, anything. A shame he wasn’t

able to pass out small glasses of Sherry.

Wilde spent his career as an aesthete commenting on the mores and

vanities of fin-de-siecle society. Lady Windermere lampoons society

through the popular theater of the day, played to absurdist limits.

Nobody takes any care to verify their worst fears, more for politeness

sake than any real lack of curiosity. People prepare to leave house and

home and fly away, based on nothing more than overheard gossip,

misplaced sense of honor, and blind misunderstanding. Lady W is herself

thoroughly good, and it takes a thoroughly good woman to do something

thoroughly stupid.