columns.ink19.com
Matthew Moyer
I’m nervous about this piece.
Nervous? Can’t bloody well believe it. For over a year now, I’ve been shamelessly fronting art-pop theories and spewing venom in the grand tradition once known as the “record review” or acting as an unpaid starstruck shill when interviewing bands I love, and suddenly NOW I hesitate?
That’s what responsibility tends to do to you. It makes you hesitate. So as much as I want to pound on your door, flood your email inbox, grab you by your shirt collar and scream, “THIS IS IT! READ THIS!” – I have to hold back, because I want to get it right and be clear.
Wait.
To hell with it, how many other times am I going to get the inside cover?
Here’s the score, bucko. The lucky ones among you are probably familiar with the old Online Columns Section at the Ink 19 website (www.ink19.com), host to some fine, fine writing. Dark’s Corner, Inconvenience Store, Minority Report, Angry Ink, Unknown Florida, the mysterious Zuzuvision, all pioneers, all brilliant. You probably also noticed how updates sort of ceased, and the whole operation lay dormant for many months. Waiting. Waiting for the right moment to return.
At this point, I’d love to say something about a new sheriff in town, but I think I’d hate myself in the morning. Besides I’m just the editor, the real news here is those frighteningly good columns. Loads of ‘em. Got some new folks too.
Columns.ink19.com.
That’s columns.ink19.com.
Now excuse me while I slip into ultra-shill mode.
New URL. New look. New content. Same quality of writing. Columns are the new rock and roll, didn’t you know? There will be constant updates, you’re guaranteed something new every couple of days. I shouldn’t even have to mention the word “bookmark.”
All the old gang is back, and cranking out new prose portraits at a frightening rate. There’s “Angry Ink,” erstwhile features editor David Lee Beowulf’s outlet to lead his crusade against, well, pretty much everything. Death to false metal. Then you’ve got Bing Futch of Dark’s Corner, casting a probing and non-cynical eye over the Orlando Music Scene. While you’re there, you might as well look at his new story-arc (Starvin’) which promises great things as well. I suppose after all of this reading, you’re feeling hungry and thirsty, so you head into James McLaren’s “Inconvenience Store.” Well, sorry, there’s no refreshment to be had there. In fact, you’ll probably be sandblasted clear across the room by the sheer force of hate. Did I mention he’s goddamn funny too? Next up is Archibald Bobo and the “Minority Report.” Not only does this guy take the creative act of writing to the next level, but he also presents some thought-provoking and entertaining arguments that have to be seen to be believed. Finally, there’s Dave Mitchell and his fearless explorations of the “Unknown Florida.” Given Disney’s absolute control over all media, and an unwillingness to discover attractions beyond Pleasure Island, we need someone who can communicate the more subtle joys of the Big Bamboo Lounge in Kissimmee, or the finer points of the road trip. Better than Jack Kerouac. There I said it. Ha. They’re all better than Jack Kerouac. Just try and stop me now!
Lots of changes in the pipeline too. We’ve got a bunch of bright young faces ready to prove themselves in Column arena as well. You’ll see. You’ll see. Mr. Carl F. Gauze is going to force some culture down your throat in the “Archikultural Digest.” Careful, you might like it. Edward Sofield’s sending loads of stories from his world in “Wednesday Again.” This kid is prolific. Jason Nelson will bombard you with Flash Fictions like Raymond Carver’s ghost. Oh, and some idiot is going to attempt to write about wrestling. And this is just the beginning. With the incomparable Frank Mullen, Drew West, and Phil Bailey waiting in the wings, things can only get weirder from here.
This is going to be fun. ◼
