Kitty Kowalski

The Kowalskis (Blackout Records)

ONE of the MANY dumb things Kitty Kowalski has done, but probably the dumbest.

Most people do really dumb things when they are drunk, and I’m no exception. Dusty Springfield died around Fat Tuesday – that’s when I found out. My new boyfriend, Tony, was a big Dusty Springfield fan, and it happened to be Fat Tuesday, so for the first time in my life, I decided to celebrate Mardis Gras and mourn Dusty at the same time. We sped ourselves to the local Cajun Bar. After a few beers and about 3 or 4 Bloody Marys served in pint glasses, we decided to go to Tony’s house for a romantic evening. We had to take the PATH train to Jersey City for our tryst.

After being on the train for about 15 minutes, Tony gets up for some “fresh air” and goes to ride between the cars. I went after him after about 5 minutes, to see if he was OK. He was getting sick, and the roar and vibration of being outside the train car in the tunnel was too much for me, so I went back inside the car. My head was spinning, the train ringing in my ears, the idea of puking now firmly implanted, and I started to get that funny, mouth-watering feeling. I walked slowly to get outside the moving train. Tony asked me, “ are you OK?” and I open my mouth to answer and nothing but puke comes out all over his jacket, his pants , his shoes – I didn’t miss one article of clothing. My brilliant response should have produced horror, but we could do was laugh. The running joke was that I puked on him and he still liked me – so there is a happy ending. ◼