Fucking Awesome?

Fucking Awesome?

“Most sources in WCW and ECW tell PWTorch.com today that they expect that current ECW World Champion Mike Awesome will show up on Nitro on Monday and perhaps throw the ECW Title in the trash can.”
– prowrestlingtorch.com

This is big.

This is very bad.

Of course, so is Mike Awesome. (Ha Ha Ha Ha! Pun! Pithy! Clever play on words! Why am I not writing for a wrestling magazine yet? *Sob*)

If Monday April 10, goes down like the doomsayers predict, this may well be a crippling blow for EC-Fucking-W.

First:

1. It will make ECW look “bush league as hell” if the current ECW World Champion shows up on Nitro tomorrow night, the undefeated monster, and maybe, just mabye, deposits the ECW title belt unceremoniously in the garbage. Not only because a.) ECW will have to buy a new one, but because b.) Mike Awesome didn’t come anywhere damn near putting anyone over during his triumphant reign as champ. No, rather, fuck no. He took down Taz(z), he took down Masato Tanaka, and in his last televised appearance (just three nights ago Friday) he took out both Raven and Tommy Dreamer. With ease.

2. The ECW title will definitely lose a shitload of credibility in the process. Is this the same belt that Shane Douglas rejected the NWA belt for, that he declared the only belt worth anything? Oh, wait sorry, he’s in WCW now as well. Wow, karma all the way around. Imagine someone having the “audacity” to throw down an ECW belt? Who are they going to put the title on now?

3. ECW now lacks the “monster champion” that they had in Taz(z), and then in Awesome. That last transition was smooth as silk; Taz(z) laid down for Awesome. Awesome didn’t lay down for anyone. One wonders if he should soon get ready to do the J.O.B. for WCW main-event morons like Lex Luger, Sid Vicious, and even (shudder fucking shudder) Hulk Hogan.

4. The holes in ECW’s nearly threadbare talent roster are now even more glaringly apparent. I almost feel embarrassed for them. I can’t help but think that Little Guido, Tajiri, Mikey Whipwreck and maybe Lance Storm are the only competent AND entertaining workers left on the roster. Sorry, I fucking hate Super Crazy. Finally, in my stupid little opinion, Mike Awesome was THE franchise player for them to build the company around, not Rob Van Dam. He was a great worker, exciting to watch, and imposing as hell.

Okay, enough about ECW, let’s move on to my eighties-metal-coiffed boy, Mike Awesome. The fact is, WCW is undergoing some major restructuring now (of course as I write this, it is pre-Nitro and it could easily turn out to be old-boss-same-as-new-boss), and with the talent ranks noticeably thinned after the abrupt departures of Benoit, Saturn, Malenko and Latino Heat himself, Awesome could be in an excellent position to move quickly up into the main event ranks. Everyone loves a BIG man. Awesome has superstar written all over him. Superstar, damn it.

And, fuck, Awesome breaks (no, smashes to bits) the stereotype of big wrestler as lumbering oaf. The man can work his ass off in the ring. He has the power moves, and he has the agile high-flying shit. Frog-splash, powerbomb off the ropes (and many other variations thereof), running dives over the ropes and out of the ring, I’ve seen them all. In fact, I think my favorite moment as a wrestling fan EVER was when I had the honor of witnessing a 15-minute match between Awesome and Masato Tanaka at a TV taping in Florida, where they busted out everything and just tore each other to bits. And you know what the best part about it was? No fucking tables were used in the match!

Yes, that is one of Awesome’s big fan favorite moves, powerbombing his opponent straight through a table, and the fans eat it up (the “Table! Table! Table!” chant has infected WCW and WWF as well), but Awesome put on a great match without relying on splintering wood for their shock-value cheers. That is a mark of a true champion in ECW, when they can impress the increasingly blood-thirsty Mongol hordes with a match NOT involving blood, tables, or violence against women.

My feelings are split pretty much down the middle, but I like to think that my loyalties lie with particular wrestlers, and not some amorphous feeling of company loyalty. So as far as that goes, best of luck Mike Awesome, take the money and fucking run with it. Remember his name.

As for ECW, I’m a bit fucking scared.

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