Strokin and Chokin

Strokin and Chokin

A Tribute to Self-Gratification


They say it’s impossible to really love someone else if you don’t love yourself. I suppose that is the message behind this compilation — although I’m not sure that this is the kind of love that they were talking about.

Most of these songs are familiar Top 40 hits that were released in the last 45 years. It’s packed full of songs that you would expect to find here — Billy Joel’s “Captain Jack,” Jackson Browne’s “Rosie,” and David Lee Roth’s “Chicken Chokin'” are among the more straight-forward odes to self-pleasure. There are also some songs included here that don’t quite fit… or maybe they do. Clarence Carter’s “Strokin'” could go either way, I suppose. Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” was probably not intended to be this sort of song, but time has taken care of that. Also included here is Pat Boone’s version of “Tutti Frutti.” I knew that “a-wop-bop-a-lop-bop-a-bop-bam-boom” was just replacement nonsense for some very racy original lyrics, but I never saw how it had anything to do with masturbation. Then I saw an old video of Pat performing the song.

Some of these are really a bit of a stretch. Lionel Ritchie’s “Stuck On You,” Diana Ross’ “Touch Me in the Morning,” and .38 Special’s “Hold On Loosely” don’t really belong here. In spite of all of this, this is still the best collection of masturbation-themed songs that you’ll find anywhere. The artwork alone is nearly worth the price of the CD. However, this really would’ve been much easier to write about had the liner notes not been stuck together.

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