The Dwarves

The Dwarves

Come Clean

Epitaph

If one were to put together a top ten list consisting of the most degenerate, hedonistic-to-the-point-of-evil, fan-abusing punk rock bands, the Dwarves would be in the top five (I haven’t finalized my list yet, so they’re still in contention for number one). Why? Well, firstly consider that about ten years ago, they put out a seven-inch with a genuine dwarf on the cover with a couple of nude chicks. Did I mention that the dwarf was nude, too? How about that they were covered with blood and the dwarf was having sex with a rabbit? (It’s true!) Secondly, go to one of their shows and it’s like this: twenty minutes of punk rock, and whoops, show’s over, time for a few beers, up yours.

Come Clean has a dwarf and two chicks on the cover as well. And they’re nude, too. No rabbit, though. And they’re covered in soap bubbles. Guess they washed off the blood… Beware of the inside cover. (So much for setting the reader’s mood.)

OK, music-wise, it’s melodic punk rock. Very fast and deceptively upbeat. Their songs are about traveling from city to city playing punk rock, getting loaded and banging women. Case in point, “How It’s Done,” “Come Where the Flavor Is,” and “Better Be Women.” Concerning the latter, that’s as in “…there better be women at the show…” judging from the song’s lead-in, age is not an issue (I suspect that anyone over 19 won’t fall for the band’s tricks – like “it’s cool to play naked” – so the younger the better). “Over You” and “Act Like Your Know” are the two “serious” tunes. “Over You” is about dealing with the heartbreak of a lost love, “Act Like You Know” is about media ignorance concerning punk rock bands, mostly the Dwarves. Of course, the truth is that they’re a band full of contempt for humanity, and if they could, they’d push the button and nuke every town they could, given the chance.

Epitaph Records, 2789 Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA 90026; http://www.thedwarves.com.

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