GOOFY WEBSITE REVIEW: Uroulette.com

by James MacLaren

Alright, it’s a slow Friday night and Lisa can’t make it over till tomorrow.

Your stomach is still not sure if its over its disastrous encounter with the

ribs at Sonny’s barbecue yesterday and so you took one of those generic lorcets

left over from last month’s wisdom tooth extraction and washed it down with

plenty of cheapie beer. Ahh… that’s better. You have become the personification

of buzzed uselessness and it feels quite nice by golly.

Now what?

Uroulette.com, that’s what. An exercise in couch potatoery as good as any.

Fire up the computer and punch in uroulette.com and wait for it’s odiously ugly,

looks like it was done by junior high computer class, graphics to appear.

Click on the ever so ugly, portion of a roulette wheel and you’re instantly in

business.

We’re going on a blindfolded trip around the World Wide Web. Kinda like spinning

a globe, closing your eyes, and punching it to a stop with your finger and then

marveling at what exotic locale you’ve landed in when you open your eyes.

Most instructive, in a senseless sort of way.

You learn things about the web, and the world, that you’d probably otherwise

never even think about. Things like: Romania thinks it’s a tourist destination.

Iceland has resort hotels. And America pretty much dominates nine tenths of

randomly selected web sites and the other tenth are in English fer chrissakes.

You also learn that with few, very few exceptions, web pages in general are

stupendously boring, idiotic, or both.

Surprisingly little porn, by volume.

Lotsa realtors and weird year-old snippets from newspapers from Dublin to

Dubuque. Horrid personal home pages with hit counters still trying to attain the

magical thousand mark, three years after the goofus in question decided that a

home page with a picture of him with his finger up his nose and a biblical

quotation of the day would be a really neat idea.

Big construction consulting firms telling you just how big they really are.

Funeral homes discreetly requesting you flip the cadaver in their direction, for

a modest fee of course.

Chambers of commerce hyping towns nobody has ever heard of.

Homemade fan pages memorializing dead guys you’ve never heard of.

Hocus art galleries on Nantucket.

Oh hell, it’s ENDLESS. Just fucking endless.

Just right for burning off those excess hours you don’t know what to do with

otherwise.

Give it a spin.