Space Aliens Never Learn
by Jason Nelson
The raindrops carried them. And if it weren’t for the ground, their ingenious
plan would have probably worked. They were incredibly tiny space aliens
determined to take over the earth. Because of their diminutive size and relative
lack of common sense, which to them isn’t all that common, they planned a
surprise attack by traveling down to earth unnoticed. To avoid radar,
satellite, or airport security detection, they devised space ships that could
travel to the surface cloaked in raindrops. Don’t start getting self-assured,
because at first their terrible, yet somewhat misguided, scheme was working
perfectly. They waited until the clouds became dark and heavy, picked ones
shaped like farm animals, and moved into position inside the seemingly innocent
droplets. As the clouds deposited their water cargo, the aliens soared down,
hidden from our electronic view, ready to destroy us large, yet talk-show
hungry, humans. But as their ships approached the ground, they found they were
trapped in the rain drops, trapped until the rain smashed into the ground,
obliterating their ships. You’re probably sitting there in your lazy-boy
recliner drinking apple cider vinegar by the quart and feeling pretty smug.
Don’t feel safe yet, there are more coming and this time they’re waiting for the
gently falling snow of winter.