Yet Another Open (maybe too open) Letter to My Adoring Fans
by Ed Sofield
It’s been bugging me lately how everyone – or at least a large majority of the American People, for instance – can still to this day get all riled up over politics. Being in the hot election year, as we seem to be, a person can’t watch TV for five fucking minutes without witnessing some horrid slander-filled epistle …. paid for by Friends of _____ 2000. Right. I have three short words for you people:
GO TO HELL.
I am sick of this country, and I am doubly sick of its political games. And, if at all possible, I am triply sick of the fact that I can say all this simply because I live in America. Land of the Free. Home of the Filthy Lying President. Amber Waves of Semen-Coated White House Interns.
If I had been born, say, in Tibet, well, Jesus H. Baldheaded Christ on a Stick, I’d probably have been beaten to death by the Chinese Government by now. Not much freedom of speech there, ya think? But I won the human lottery…..and ended up living in the First World. I don’t go hungry – except for when I spend all my cash on weed. I have a place to live….sure, it’s in the Bronx, but that’s not so bad. I have a job, I have transportation at the ready, and I get to air my views in this nice little space on the web. Cool, right? Hell, yeah!
Then should I still be unhappy?…..wait, scratch that. Not unhappy. More like……hmm. Ever actually worn one of your grandmother’s hand-knitted wool sweaters that you got every year for Christmas? They were so uncomfortable that they made you aware that you were wearing something……that’s what living in this country makes me feel like. Not unappreciative, or put-down by the man…..simply free enough to know that there is still something wrong here.
So…..I’m pretty sure I’ve railed against it once before in these columns, but……how’s Canada this time of year?
Nathaniel Bishop, acting CEO