There are times when I am considered an insensitive individual. For instance, some people think that boxing is a brutal sport and they can’t understand why I would watch such brutality. Well you know, if you want to get in a ring and fight a gorilla, I’m watching just so that I can laugh at your ass when you get pummeled. There is a theory going around that the only reason why people show up to NASCAR races or to any motor sporting event is to watch a crash. I agree. Nothing is more exciting than watching a couple of rednecks crash.
Motorcycle racing is one of the most entertaining motor sporting events around. It is guaranteed that you will see a crash at some point in the night. Motorcycle jump contests are becoming more and more popular at these events. The video market is becoming saturated with videos showcasing some of today’s best riders catching killer air. One of the more popular videos around is Crusty Demons of Dirt. It can be argued that the highlight of that video was Seth Enslow. He pulled off the most insane jumps, jumps that totally defied gravity. You see, Seth jumps his motorcycle without any worries about the consequences. His infamous crash in Crusty was when he bottomed out on a sand dune. It was the type of jump most sane individuals would ignore. He was left bloodied and with an obvious concussion.
When I was given the opportunity to interview Seth Enslow, I jumped at the chance. After all, Seth is being touted as the next Evel Knievel. How many people get the opportunity to chat with a rising star? Not many, I can assure you. But I was worried: with all of his wrecks, could he sustain an intelligent conversation, never mind the fact that I woke him up at 7:30 in the morning. He proved to be a worthy adversary. What follows is a word-by-word and pause-by-pause account of what went down between Seth and myself.
Hello, is Seth there?
I’m with Ink 19 and I have an interview with you.
Are you good to go?
It sounds like I woke you up.
Sorry. When you make you next attempt at the distance record, how far do you expect to go?
[4 second pause] Um… 260 feet.
260 feet, huh? Do you think you will have any problems with it this time?
None whatsoever, huh?
[His voice is lowering and slowing down to inaudible tones. Man, he’s good. Four second pause.] No.
Man, do you want me to call you when you are more awake?
[Three second pause] Hmmm..nah.
Are you sure, because I have all day?
[Four second pause] No, it’s all right.
Okay. Do you have any plans to put out more videos like The Hard Way any time soon?
[Four second pause. I can barely hear him at this point.] Yeah… in a couple of years.
Do you do any type of exercises, or do you work out to keep yourself from receiving more serious injuries?
Yeah… I hit the gym… [inaudible mumbling, something like “one piece”].
Next February, bike week will be back in Daytona. Do you plan on doing any shows?
[Three second pause.] Possibly. I haven’t talked to anyone, but maybe.
How much time do you put in to your stunts? The reason that I ask is that people like Robbie Knieval seem to put in an extraordinary amount of time into each jump where you seem to just do it. How much time do you actually put into it?
[Three seconds] Umm.. [three seconds]… a couple of days… building the… landing… setting up the take off ramp… and… uh… go for it?
How much longer do you think that you can sustain this as a career?
[Again with the three seconds.] Umm… I don’t know. [four seconds] Maybe do it for another five years [mumble, mumble, mumble].
What do you do to relax?
Uhh… I… umm… [five second pause]… probably go to a lake, chill on a boat.
What possesses you to do this?
[Eight second pause] I kind of created a job for myself, and I just go do it, finish it out, accomplish what the goals…
Do you have any influences or idols that you looked up to when you were young?
Nope, not really.
How do you want to be remembered in 20 — 30 years?
[No shit, ten second pause.] Uhh… the guy that went big.
Well that’s it. Pretty cool, huh. I bet you didn’t know that Seth is entertaining in more ways than one. I will remember this interview forever. And if ever given the chance to interview him again, I think that I will decline and instead rub a cheese grater across my balls and then soak them in turpentine. How’s that for crazy, mother fucker!?