Last Meal Review: Garza picks it.

by James MacLaren

Okey dokey, so now the feds are back in the execution business. First McVeigh,

and a week after that a certain Juan Raul Garza.

We already know more than enough about McVeigh, right?

Garza was a drug dealer who apparently watched a few too many episodes of Miami

Vice and decided a few times along the way that the answer to whatever conundrum

that was giving him fits was to just blow away whatever person who was causing

the conundrum in the first place.

No more person, no more conundrum. Easy, eh?

So it’s obvious that the guy hasn’t got all that much on the ball mentally to

begin with, right? Did Albert Einstein ever wonder if smuggling would be a

better career choice than relativity? Probably not. Obviously, Garza was no

Einstein.

So ok, lets get to the nub of the matter here, ok?

To wit: Garza’s last meal.

I’m still scratching my head over this one.

The first item on the menu is steak. No problems there. Everybody, except for

some weenie vegatarian, loves a good steak. And the murder of cattle is still

ok, here in the good old U. S. of A.

Item the second is onion rings. Not on the top of MY personal list of best

things I could ever eat in my life just prior to getting snuffed, but hey, it’s

not my decision.

Item the third is french fries. So ok, the guy’s a junk food junkie. And we’ve

already decided that he’s not Albert Einstein. I would have probably picked mashed

potatoes with gravy or something a little more substantial, but again, it’s not

my decision.

Item the fourth, and last, is the one that’s driving me bats.

Diet Coke.

No, I am not making this up.

Does anybody in the entire world actually PREFER the taste of Diet Coke over

regular Coke? No way!

So what’s going on here, anyway? What the hell was Garza thinking when they

asked him what he wanted for his LAST meal?

“Hmm…well Warden, you guys are gonna kill me here in a couple of hours but

lookit this tummy of mine, wouldya? Whatta ya say we make it a DIET Coke, how

‘bout it?”

Did I mention that Garza was no Albert Einstein?