Don’t Be Such A Wife Beating Shit

by Chuck Bantam

Hey, what the fuck is your problem? Didn’t I see you on Springer last night? Yeah, you’re the guy who got screwed up the ass by your father your whole life and liked it. No, wait you’re that guy with the little dick who beats his wife because of your own paranoid insecure mind. Or, maybe you’re that jarhead motherfucker who dresses up and goes clubbing every night to pick up girls and get laid. Damn, it’s so hard to tell which one you were. You’re all so similar. In any case you have a problem and I’m curious what “you think” it is.

You’re scared right? Daddy beat you. He did mean things to you. He touched you. Now you do that to everyone else right? Do you feel closer to home? Do you blame your little dick? It’s really small right? Women don’t like that. I heard that saying “size doesn’t matter it’s all in how you move your ass” is a bunch of bull. I think I understand. You’re jealous. You are filled with envy. You believe that women are allowed to be overly judgmental and that pisses you off. Men have to ask the girl out. They are supposed to open doors, pull chairs out and pay for everything. And the women get to be picky?? Well fuck that. You’re gonna get yours right? You’re gonna go out, dress up, play the innocent nice guy and when you get a girl you’re gonna treat her like crap because all that she is, is a piece of meat anyway.

I know you. I’ve seen your type. You wear big thick gold watches and leave the top three buttons of your shirt open to expose your hairy ape chest. You slick your hair back. You drive a convertible. You smoke cigars. Even if physically that doesn’t describe you, you are that guy. If you ever get a women that you halfway care about,she is going to be miserable. You have to have the upper hand. She can’t talk to her guy friends anymore. She better not mouth off to you and sex is as good as you want it to be. She doesn’t need to be satisfied… she thinks your dick is small. Oh my god! She’s talking to someone else! She didn’t call you last night! She said she was going shopping, but changed her mind and went over a friend’s house! She wears nicer clothes when she goes out with her friends then when she goes out with you! What’s going on? Whose number is this on the caller I.D.? You better beat her. You better show her who is in charge because that will make her stay… yeah that will make her stay.

Forget flowers. Forget clouds. Forget sunrises and sunsets. The most spectacular creation ever to grace existence is women. The way they carry themselves, their thought process, their bonds with other women. They are really quite amazing. They know more about being close to others then men can ever understand. Plus without women, life would simply cease to progress. Still certain apes feel a need to break them. They destroy the beauty and turn the woman into the source of their problems. The woman becomes the reason these dirtbag thugs decided to hit someone in the first place. It is a vicious cycle. If you hurt someone they are going to instinctively want to hurt back. Maybe it isn’t you that gets paid back but the aggression could be taken out on someone else. The victim becomes the antagonist as I’m sure you were once the victim. The scenario repeats itself again and again.

A message to all the Mike Tyson’s out there – “Don’t be such a wife beating shit!” Don’t be such a girlfriend beating shit. Don’t beat your child. Beat yourself. Take a large blunt object and separate your nose from your face with it. Beat yourself unconscious. End the cycle. It may not be your fault that you grew up to be such an asshole but no one cares. Hurting someone isn’t going to make them care either. So just stop. And to all the women out there- “Don’t be so tolerant of that shit.” There is someone else out there who isn’t going to treat you that way.