Don’t Be So Fucking Timid

by Chuck Bantam

Don’t be so fucking timid. Get off your ass and stand up for what you believe in. There are people talking about you. They are saying good and bad things. Do you really care about the bad? You want to be remembered don’t you? Infamous, famous what’s the difference? One man’s hero is another man’s false idle.

If someone disapproves of what you just said don’t take it back. You said it for a reason. “Stick your neck out, You only live once, Life’s too short, Ra Ra Ra..” Cliche, cliche, cliche.

I’m writing this mainly to tell you about my friend Russell. Rusell has divine awesomeness. He’s an actor, a husband, a father, a friend, but most of all in my eyes he is someone to look up to. He is never too lighthearted to ruin something serious, but he’s never too serious to ruin something fun. He’s a great man. Some people know this but I find that many people pretend to know this and don’t really. Unfortunately actors know too many “actors,” if you know what I mean. With this in mind, know that Russell treats us all equal; those of us who want to be his friend because it’s the “in” thing to do and those of us who know him for who he really is. I believe that Russell has a separate agenda from the rest of us. One that won’t bring harm to anyone and one that he is going to stick to no matter what.

Russell is living. Not just “alive” but in the truest sense of the word. He is backstage and about to engage in an experience unthought of by the other actors around him. He is starring in a show, produced by a rather large entertainment company, as the exciting Angus Young from the rock band AC/DC. This is the very last performance of the year and please note that this show is famous for its last performance. You see, traditionally, the last show is the cast’s opportunity to work in their own jokes. It is not uncommon to hear improvised lines or even comments to people in the audience during the last show. One year when Russell was on stage he shocked both the cast and the audience by shouting out “Sit down asshole!” to a heckler. This year things are more tense. The cast has been warned repeatedly not to make any changes to the show at all during the final performance. They have been told that all of the folks from upper management will be present during the last show and all of the folks from the human resources department as well. Everyone there to make sure absolutely no changes will be made during the show or jobs will be lost. That is why Russell is alive like no other at this moment. Russell has his own agenda.

I’m sure that he is a bit nervous about what he is about to do. He hasn’t told anyone about it. He hasn’t involved anyone but himself either so that no one else is at risk. I’m pretty sure that he swallowed his fear and stepped out into the spotlight as Angus Young with a million thoughts all battling in his mind. He could back down at any moment and no one would even know there was anything going on. He could march up and down the aisles cutting through the audience just like he was supposed to. He could beat on his guitar that isn’t plugged in, play Angus to the fullest, take a bow and that would be it. No. He tosses his hat. Next, I could hear the stage manager blurt out, “What is he doing?” He unbuttoned his shirt. He tossed that as well. He then spun around showing the audience his bare back, peeked back at them over his left shoulder and began to unbutton his pants. Russell must have been feeling a bit patriotic because a large American flag sewn to his boxers was revealed when he dropped his pants and bent over to hold them at his knees. A marvelous roar of approval.

You see Russell is the type of person who gives life to those trite sayings. “Go for it!” “Stand alone.” “Be strong.” His supervisors may fire him but he created entertainment for his audience on a level too amazing for their narrow minds to understand. Even if only the cast and crew walked away with the knowledge of what really went on that day, it would be enough for Russell to have taken that chance. I think people might want to remember that somewhere along the line while they were being timid someone else was being real.