Velveeda Singles and Seconds
by King Velveeda
Michael Hunt Publishing
They (who’s they?) say that the guiding maxim of porn is that it’s all about the money shot. If you don’t got that, you don’t got nothing. Bill Hicks said pretty much the same thing in an inspired standup routine about cheapo hotel TV porn, where he complained that he was looking for “thick arcing ropes of cum,” and instead all he got was hours of “hairy bobbing man ass and wah wah pedal.” Well friends, King Velveeda feels your pain. Oh yes, does he ever.
In fact, King Velveeda feels so strongly about the power of the cumshot that he’s filled this Singles anthology with thirty-something pages of nothing but, all rendered artfully in a style that’s oddly cartoony-innocent but profoundly porno theater dirty at the same time. I can’t say much more about it. It shocked my nascent Victorian sensibilities straight into a nunnery, baby. That’s a whole lotta jizz there in them damn pages. And it’s drawn like a cross between R. Crumb, the long-forgotten Bizarre Sex comix and a little bit of Lil’ Abner in there for pedigree. Velveeda’s a good hand with a pen and ink. Well damn. There’s no reading, no clumsy plots or bungled, no asinine characters, in that respect, I guess it’s the Rosetta Stone of the porn comix genre; just women of all ages and races and persuasions enjoying y’know – Wink Wink Nudge Nudge. Say no more?