Don’t Be Such A Stalker

by Chuck Bantam

OK here’s the mentality. You see a pretty girl and you think that you have to have her. You think that because she displays no interest in you that she is definitely into your game. You think that even though she has a boyfriend that he is just for show. You think that if you call her ten times a day she’ll come around and eventually want you. You think that if you follow her out to her car at work she’ll invite you for a ride. You think hamburgers are sexy because you haven’t been laid in so long, don’t you, you sick freak. Just slap it between two buns my pretend friend because a girl is not in your cards right now.

I really can’t understand where you get your ideas. Do you actually think that if a girl sees your face or hears your voice enough times she is eventually going to fall for you? Do you think that a phone number is an invitation to sex? Do you think that popping up unexpected is something women are into? I may not know what all women are like but I can tell you about a couple who would knock the teeth out of your head for pulling some shit like that. The girls who wouldn’t are probably afraid of you. That is something else I’ve witnessed. Scumbags like you can’t tell when a girl is afraid of you. Or do you just think that it’s o.k. when they are scared and that it could work to your advantage? Thag the Caveman evolved into a gentleman long before you were born, dipshit. You should learn from him. Has your technique worked before? If so, where is the girl now? She loved you so much she had to let you go? If it worked before then maybe I can understand why you are this way. But if it worked before I believe there was probably some other element at play. Desperation maybe? I don’t think that a desperate girl could be defined as a girl that you are meant to be with. So come on, let’s face it, taking women by force is not the way.

I really wish that by simply telling you these things you would understand. I wish that just by realizing that people notice your nauseating behavior you would stop, but somehow I don’t think this is so. You’re a caveman, so basically you’re an animal. You need to be swatted with a stick. If you were in front of me right now I’d hit you with something. You probably wouldn’t know why but that wouldn’t be any different from the feelings these poor girls get when they see your number on their phones. Or the helpless feelings they have when they see you running up to them, all smiles, because you surprised them at their parents’ house or some shit. They are thinking, “Why me God? What the fuck did I do to deserve this?”

So try and hear me now when I say this. Don’t be such a stalker. Don’t be so ridiculously persistent. Hell, don’t be you! You’re not going to get anywhere with the girl so try and be someone else. For the first time in my life I see a reason for someone to try and be something they are not. Be the person that gives up and walks away. I’ll bet a girl would find that more attractive than anything you could think up. Go away and stay away.