Open Your Eyes


Hmm, I have something of a love-hate relationship with this record. Well, all right, like-dislike is more accurate, but since there’s no such saying maybe I have to stick with “love-hate.”

At any rate, the point I seem to be willfully avoiding getting to is that Goldfinger tries too hard here to be all things to all people. Included with punkish pop gems like “January” and “Radio” are some real crap like “FTN” (standing for “fuck Ted Nugent,” a sentiment which no doubt is universally shared by Goldfinger’s fans, but the song then inexplicably goes on to attack Jennifer Lopez, who I am pretty sure is an entirely different person, for reasons I’m still trying to figure out, possibly involving wearing fur and eating meat, but hey, your guess is as good as mine, I’m a leather-wearing meat-eater), and the mercifully short noisefest “Woodchuck” (the lyrics to which are the popular kids tongue-twister “How much wood…” rendered almost indecipherable by the shouted distorto-Cookie Monster vocals). Haha, real funny guys. Like once maybe. Not on an album that you’re hoping will be played over and over. And even on the better cuts, there are sometimes lyrical or arrangement missteps that stick out like the proverbial sore thumbs (the totally incongruous appearance of metally hardcore-type distorted screams at the end of “Open Your Eyes,” or the lyric “I wish I wasn’t such a wishy-washy prick” jarring it’s way into the otherwise great breakup song “January”).

Worthwhile but flawed.

Jive Records: • Goldfinger:

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