Sir Millard Mulch
The De-Evolution of Yasmine Bleeth
The liner notes of this EP state that “This is the final Sir Millard Mulch album that will ever be released!” Thankfully, I understand that saner heads have prevailed, and this is no longer the case. For Millard to permanently leave “the industry” would be an insurmountable loss, and one can’t help but wonder whether the crashing financial losses “the industry” has experienced over the past few months were not the result of Internet file sharing, but were instead because of disillusion that Millard would never gift the world with another brilliant record. Why continue to buy records at all if none of them will ever be a Sir Millard Mulch record?
Surely, the word must be spread so that the giant media corporations can be saved from imminent doom. And the way to start is to force the entire world to listen to this EP. That’s right, pull that “bass” CD out of your pumpin’ car stereo system and pollute the air with the sound of Millard. Make sure everyone can hear the inspired strangeness of The De-Evolution of Yasmine Bleeth, whether they think they want to or not. This is the only way we can save the music industry and keep Tommy Mottola a millionaire!
Come on, songs like “Tiki Bar Revolution,” “The Mysteries of the Universe Are Revealed to Morons, Pt. 1,” and the title track are ten times catchier than whatever this week’s Britney Spears record is. So buy it and save the industry!
Oh yeah, and Frank Zappa. You’re contractually obligated to mention Zappa in a Sir Millard Mulch review — it’s like the law or something. So, Frank Zappa.