The Height of the Haight
by Unbalanced Breakfast
HisCheapMoves: So I started telling Kitty about Tvaarsky.
www.sirmillardmulch.com/tvaarksanianica — or Fartsantarctica, for short.Sir Millard Mulch: Ah, my HUGE STUDIO.
HisCheapMoves: It’s caused quite a stir in San Francisco, I hear.
Sir Millard Mulch: Yeah, it’s gonna be big. I posted some info about it on Craigslist, www.craigslist.org
HisCheapMoves: Can you give us a quick rundown of the amenities?
Sir Millard Mulch: Oh, man, what does it NOT have? It’s gonna be like 1,000,000 sq. ft., 19 stories, all together
HisCheapMoves: In the Haight.
Sir Millard Mulch: Yeah. I mean, you can’t record around here in these old Victorian houses.
HisCheapMoves: Is it “modern”? Architecturally speaking.
Sir Millard Mulch: It’s kind of Post-Modern, I think. I dunno. I haven’t seen the final blue-prints.
HisCheapMoves: Any top-name clients lined up?
Sir Millard Mulch: I actually got a call from Steve Vai’s assistant today, wanting to know some more info.
HisCheapMoves: He’d need at least two floors.
Sir Millard Mulch: That’s why I am hesitant to get him involved. He’s always wanting to sleep on the floor. He works himself too hard.
HisCheapMoves: But he can enjoy the luxuries to be found in Tvaarsky, right? Like a circular bowling alley?
Sir Millard Mulch: A circular bowling alley would be a good idea. I’ll send that idea over to my engineers.
HisCheapMoves: So when will you be ready to record in it?
Sir Millard Mulch: The initial demolition is scheduled to start in about 2 weeks. The evacuation should start shortly after that.
kittydeathstar: Is there going to be a ground-breaking ceremony? Golden shovel and all?
Sir Millard Mulch: No, just a big hole. BIG hole. We’re scraping out the entire hill over here.
HisCheapMoves: What about earthquakes?
Sir Millard Mulch: So far we haven’t had any. We’ll probably tunnel so deep it won’t matter. Most of the earthquakes will be from how loud we mix.
kittydeathstar: ha ha ha ha…… Line of the year!
Sir Millard Mulch: You’ve got to remember, Metallica lives in this town.
HisCheapMoves: They actually live IN San Francisco?
Sir Millard Mulch: From what I understand, my friend Paul saw Kirk over at the Safeway recently.
kittydeathstar: Then will the studio include a “drying out” facility?
HisCheapMoves: With a house band — the Methatones.
Sir Millard Mulch: You mean a rehab place? Now that’s not nice. Let’s leave drugs out of this. It’s all about MONEY.
kittydeathstar: I’m glad you’re doing a service for such a run-down neighborhood……
Sir Millard Mulch: I’m mostly looking forward to the “bombing”
HisCheapMoves: Well, best of luck. I’m sure you will keep us posted. Send pictures of the demo-cuation!
Sir Millard Mulch: Thank you, the helicopter just got here.