(Hell)Sing Their Praises
by Heather Lorusso
Aruard + Seras Victoria
Hellsing Action Figures
Hellsing. Hell. Sing. Helllllllllsing. No matter how you say it it’s a beautiful word. Last time it was Sauron, this time it’s *swoon* Hellsing.
Hellsing is the awesomest most kickest assest rockinest anime series eva! Thirteen episodes were created in 2001 and I’ve watched them so much that I’ve started mainlining them into my eyeballs. I bought the DVDs. Naughty. I bought the wall scroll. Nerdy. I bought the mini-busts. Necessary. And I bought both of the action figures. NUTSY!!! Why isn’t anyone stopping me? I’m dshflkdjs years old and should be thinking about… er… important things like design or art or grad school or boys… But no! I’m going to wake up one day, thirty years old, drowning in a sea of action figures and cats, and when I say “sea,” I mean the cardboard box I’ll be living in if I keep spendin’ the way I do.
But so what? The world’s going to end in a flood of blood and oil any day now so I might as well enjoy the little things whilst I still can.
SO YES! HELLSING! I have the two main character action figures, Arucard and Seras Victoria, and I want you to go out and buy them. I really want to tell you about the show, but I’m afraid you’ll get turned off when I say “Freak Artificial Vampires.” You shouldn’t though, it’s dark and beautiful and funny and intelligent. The characters are dynamic and infinitely intriguing. And the animation is ani-riffic! So go rent some ASAP. And now, since this is a toy column, on to the toys. Action figures based on anime characters are the best, because their bodies are so streamlined and have little color gradation. This makes them easy to accurately reproduce. Plus, there’s no need to worry about them looking lifelike. The characters themselves are too outside the realm of physical possibility to have to even consider it.
This figure is delicious. I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t know anything about the anime before I bought the figure. That’s how cool it is. The lines are clean and smooth. There is nothing awkward about the aesthetic of this figure, and if you’ve seen those weird Marvel Legends’ crotches you know what I’m talking about. The body of the toy is flawless and is an exact replica of the drawn character- tall, thin, long black hair, red eyes, pentagrammed gloves, and red coat over a dark suit. The best part of this figure are the little replica guns included in the package. The little bag of medical blood he comes with is cool too. I mean he IS a vampire and he DOES need to eat. He’s got the freakiest craziest look on his face, and the variant figure where he’s covered with blood is even more fantastic.
What sucks about this figure? I can’t get him to stand up on his own! I can sometimes, but he has to be exact and he can’t really hold his guns up and stand at the same time. Maybe I’m just too much of a fidgeter, but I like to play, I can’t help it. Also, I think it would’ve been cool if they had included his trademark hat and orange eyeglasses. Though maybe it’s better that they didn’t, I’d probably just lose them.
Seras Victoria aka Police Girl
The figure is pretty much an exact reproduction of the character. The hair, the eyes, the outfit, and even that look of innocence and bewilderment always on her face is captured perfectly. She comes with a bag of medical blood too, though it might take you a little longer to get her to drink it. Heh heh heh…watch the show. (Sigh) She stands just fine on her own and her anti-midians cannon is fully functional except for the blowing things up bit. She’s cool and all anime-like, but not too slutty like those scandalous Bastard!! figures.