Classic Nasty: More Naughty Bits
by Jack Murnighan (editor)
Four Walls Eight Windows
Things I learned by reading Classic Nasty, an anthology of the Good Parts of great books (from The Iliad to The Corrections, as it says on the spine):
1. Like this books’ editor and the poet Homer, I am a lover, not a fighter.
2. Rita Mae Brown ain’t that good a writer, but what do you expect from the author of The Slumber Party Massacre (seriously)?
3. Anthony Burgess was one sick puppy.
4. Jack Murnighan, the abovementioned editor, is a sensitive man who takes the time to think about the other fellow’s point of view, as evidenced by his introduction to the George Saunders excerpt herein, “The 400 Pound CEO.”
5. On the other hand, given his choice of the many Good Parts in John Irving novels from The Hotel New Hampshire to The World According To Garp, Murninghan chose the one from Cider House Rules about sucking off a horse.
6. If they’re serious about gaining acceptance as adult actresses, Mary Kate & Ashley should acquire the rights to and do a celluloid adaptation of Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow.
7. Libraries are soon to be obsolete. Though not while I have breath in my body.
8. I’m not the only boy who used to get aroused reading certain books by Ms. Judy Blume, but:
9. Naming your penis is stupid. And:
10. Naming your penis Ralph is especially stupid.
11. Proverbs 30 is really sad and beautiful. Look it up.
12. Bram Stoker, Henry Miller, Choderlos de Laclos, Kalyana Malla, Saint Teresa de Avila, and Marguerite Duras had it goin’ on.
13. As a lover, Bill Clinton was (is?) great.
14. Never masturbate with John Cheever.
Four Walls Eight Windows: http://www.4w8w.com/