Kill The DJ
This album is like a time machine. It’s over an hour’s worth of the future, past and present mixed into one DJ’s disc of memories. This all happens at once, y’all, so pay close attention.
Reagan rejects his aides’ advice to admit the Iran deal was a mistake as, at a friend’s house, you hear Sigue Sigue Sputnik for the first time. Meanwhile, across the sea Gary Numan hears patterns rhyme about Reagan’s son being gay but knows they’re not true because he’s married. He then has to hurry off to Bela Lugosi’s funeral.
The Navy takes The Walk down to the hardware store and buys a screwdriver for $780, stopping on the way to kiss the Pope’s ring, which reminds them of the time Kiss beat Numan up.
Your friend comes down from the other side of the mountain. She’s a girl who’s a boy who likes boys to be girls who do boys like they’re girls who do girls like they’re boys. She’s psyched because now she can get the good radio station and the first thing she hears is the Ramones beating up Kiss ’cause Gene Simmons loves Jezebel. Loves her so much he gave her a Cabbage Patch Doll, and holding hands they skip off to The new Cult meeting.
This all makes you think of a new title for your erotic story: Raisa Spins Nancy right Round, baby right round, like a record baby right round round round!
Freezepop is a photographic pastiche of the ’80s, but you prefer more of a dreams-have-come-true lifestyle — that’s an “inside” joke. Rod Stewart beats up the Ramones and looks very beautiful doing it, too, until he hits the wall into which Ladytron carved the truth, at 17. But Rod doesn’t care about the truth anymore as he has become Comfortably Numb. Is that the Scissors Sisters Sledge singing? He wonders as he loses consciousness.
Now the president is pissed off about leaks. He has sweet dreams of star wars weapons on a blue monday that will pave the way for a New world Order.
Elsewehere, a guy called Felix puts on the dog and puts out the cat; then he hears that Sid overdosed after killing Bela, but still he keeps on moving ’cause it’s just too funky in here.
The President, on the other hand, shuts down the government in mourning. He always wanted to lure disco dollies to a life of vice but Bela beat him to it. Frank Sinatra welcomes you to the future on the day after.
Yeah. It’s a lot like that.