The Neal Pollack Invasion

The Neal Pollack Invasion

Never Mind The Pollacks


Neal Pollack has risen to power, ugh, by being an obnoxious, arrogant twit. First, it was fiction in The Neal Pollack Anthology of Literature. Now, he is attempting to conjure his own brand of rock n’ roll.

The main difference between The Neal Pollack Invasion’s parody rock and others is that Pollack and Company’s first record, Never Mind the Pollacks, offers musical integrity. The record, as the title implies, evokes a transient Sex Pistols. However, it is not simply a recreation of a pop song with clever lyrics. The satire is mostly in Pollack’s straightforward lyrical attack. Because of this, it’s difficult to call it parody. But how else can you muster songs with titles such as “Memories of Times Square (The Dildo Song)” and “I Wipe My Ass on Your Novel?”

On “New York City,” Pollack screams like a rotten apple being mashed on the sidewalk: “New York City is a pile of shit…Andy Warhol is a pile of shit…CBGB’s is a pile of shit…” And it goes on and on. He rallies against anything New York, and then, near the end, he switches his anger to the notion that “The Whole Damn World is a pile of shit. David Bowie is a pile of shit.” But not all things English get this treatment. “Never Mind the Pollacks” recreates, very subtly, the melody of the Sex Pistols’ “God Save the Queen” but lacks its ferociousness.

Although the album can be considered an homage to punk rock, Pollack chooses to ridicule punk on “Racism Number 5.”

And that is exactly what is so wrong about this record. Even with the quality musicians backing up Pollack, he manages to twist and distort some of punk’s (and rock’s) great songs to offer his own brash opinion.

Neal Pollack:

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