Hamas – The Other White Meat
Pity poor Hamas, who has unfairly received a tarnished reputation after years of claiming responsibility for suicide bombings and other minor acts of terrorism. As they expect to become a major force after next week’s Palestinian general election, Hamas has hired a PR expert to help with an image makeover – to the tune of $100K. Part of this expert’s advice includes not celebrating suicide bombings, not talking about this destroying Israel business (despite its role as the organization’s founding charter), and having candidate Abu Tir “rid himself of a red beard, coloured by henna, because it makes people laugh.”