Lawsuits of the Damned

Michael Jackson, 1 for 2!

In what is sure to result in the consumption of several cases of ‘Jesus Juice’, a complaint filed by PETA against Michael Jackson was dropped after a USDA specialist declared that Jackson’s exotic menagerie – we’re talking about the animals now – was in fine shape, and not in violation of whatever code regulates private zoos maintained by in absentia weirdos.

Unfortunately, in a related topic, veterinarian Dr. Martin Dinnes is seeking payment on a delinquent bill of close to $100,000 for ‘nearly weekly’ care of the beasties. That may sound exhorbitant, until you start to consider the need to administer elephant suppositories.


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