“Local party animal released back into the wild”
After a two days of non-mediated litigation, one Brooklyn woman released her “Party animal” boyfriend back into the wild. With one week of house arrest and two days of plea bargaining behind him, Timmy Nachimson walked out of a Brooklyn apartment a free man on Friday. He said,” It feels good to once again spread my wings and fly, and since it’s friday night I think I’ll fly over to a bar or something.”
It all started when her boyfriend came home intoxicated and without the salmon steaks he had promised her he would bring home for dinner. He said, “She just snapped.” She claims she was just letting him know, “What’s up.” Either way, what ensued was a week-long “Pissing Contest” that will forever be known as “Pride Week.” With his girlfriend’s complaints being too complicated for him to even want to deal with, Timmy Nachimson went on what many would call a “Bender.” Even though Timmy’s girlfriend openly criticizes his practice of mid-week drinking, Timmy was quoted as saying,” I really don’t care. I’m going to do what I’m going to do, and if that means me getting a little juiced up before the big fight, then oh well”.
Many heated arguments occurred when the “Beer-Breathed” boyfriend finally came home. Always emptyhanded and most of the time empty-headed, He usually had nothing to say except that he always lets her know just how stressful his job and life really is. He also added,”I bought myself some beers.” And “If someone buys you a beer, you don’t turn it down. That’s rude”. Three days into the long arguments and girlfriend’s massive mood swings, Timmy simply shut down. Surrendering to his girlfriend’s constant rants, Timmy just quit listening. “I quit listening until I realized she was quoting song lyrics for her comebacks and the reasons why she felt the liberty to give me such hell.”
After five days of continuous fighting, Timmy Nachimson pleaded “No Contest,” to 4 counts of excessive drinking and failing to come home at a decent hour. The charge of not bringing home salmon steaks was later dropped. He was sentenced by his girlfriend to two weeks of house arrest. With only one week served, Timmy was released back into the wild early on Friday. Timmy’s girlfriend says good behavior prompted his early release. Since their “Big talk,” the relationship has been day to day, but Timmy’s girlfriend thinks he’s learned his lesson. She also believes she has officially “Changed him”. When Timmy heard about this so called “Changing,” through a mutual friend, he was seen running into his favorite bar telling everyone inside quote,” The only thing she’s changed is how much more beer I’m going to drink.” With the fighting showing no signs of stopping, Timmy “The Party Animal,” will almost surely see captivity again soon.