Queensryche

Orlando, FL • 5.20.09

Christopher Long

They’ve sold millions. They’ve racked up numerous hits. They’ve earned legions of fans. Their records are legendary rock epics. Their caliber of musicianship is unparalleled. But for fuck’s sake – Queensryche has got to be THE most boring live band ever! Damn, these guys are so boring live, they make The Dave Mathews Band seem compelling. Now that’s boring!

I realize I’m not socially or artistically sophisticated enough to grasp their brilliance. However, the sign posted at the Will Call window that night announced the group would be performing “Suites” from the albums, Rage for Order, Empire, and American Soldier.

“Suites?” What the fuck? Mötley Crüe doesn’t play “Suites.”

FYI:
Suite [sweet]

(plural suites)

n

MUSIC – set of instrumental works performed together

Why couldn’t they just say that in the first place?

Drum roll please – and the winner for most pretentious and pompous former arena band who can no longer even sell-out the House of Blues is…

Shouldn’t the band at least look like they’re having fun? Queensryche doesn’t. If the live vibe ain’t even moving the band, what kind of party is the audience having?

When I go to church I expect to be surrounded by Christians. When I DJ in a club I expect to deal with drunks. However, when I go to a rock show I don’t want to be lectured – about anything – by anybody – not even Geof Tate. Despite the tie-in with the group’s new record, the front man’s long-winded banter about war was so bassy and monotone it was both mind-numbing AND nearly inaudible.

I heard an old hippy guy next to me actually yell out, “rock and roll!” as the band came onstage. I hope he wasn’t disappointed to learn that there would be no “rocking” or “rolling” this night – at least not while Queensryche was onstage. These guys are so uptight, in fact, fans attending the after-show meet-and-greet were instructed by Queensryche handlers to NOT shake hands with any band members – as they feared contracting Swine Flu.

Not even a cast of onstage extras and Pink Floyd-ish pre-recorded sound effects could bring this show to life. In fact, these “whistles and bells” were more of a distraction.

However, Queensryche did “rock” a bit towards the end of the show when they unleashed such early ’90s favorites as “Another Rainy Night,” “Jet City Woman,” and “The Best I Can.” I thoroughly enjoyed those “Suites” just before I dozed off.

Queensryche: http://www.queensryche.com ◼