25 Movies Brian Feldman Has Seen At Enzian Theater
25 Movies Brian Feldman Has Seen At Enzian Theater
Brian Feldman Projects
April 19 to April 20, 2010
Enzian Theater, Maitland FL</strong>
“FFF feldman signs”
The Florida Film Festival ended last night, and the place is deserted. The staff has gone home to recover, the fans are furiously updating their Netflix accounts and there is plenty of parking. In fact, I’m the only one in the lot. Feldman is nowhere to be seen, and the Enzian marquee announces “Baraka.” I missed that documentary, but its plot summary EXACTLY matches that of “Koyaanisqatsi” on IMDb. Why am I here? I’m waiting for Brian Feldman to appear and CHANGE THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE THAT’S NOT BEING SHOWN. Seriously.
“lonley”
As I wander the detritus of the FFF, a bucket of chocolate covered cranberries remains, along with some coolers full of melted ice and some very nasty tasting “Vitamin Water.” I have no idea what’s really in that stuff, but it tastes like a mixture of Thorium Oxide and Silver Nitrate and brags about trace elements I learned to regard as toxic in High School. A few more people show up, including Feldman and his Dad and a pit bull looking for a seminar on Dogma 95. The wet Spanish moss drips. I find an actual beer in the cooler – it’s rather warm and not from a country known for brewing excellence, but it’s better than the Vitamin Water. Feldman asks what sort of movie title I’d like to see next. Comedy seemed appropriate, and off he goes to get the letters for the next title. He’s gone for a very long time, and I begin to feel I’ve entered an early Bergman film.
“dog 25”
“Alienation”
All the titles in this event are from films Feldman has watched at the Enzian over the years. Why is he doing this today? Why is he doing this now? A true film connoisseur never asks, he only speculates and deconstructs. Film school essay questions bubble into my head, but soon enough Feldman returns, speaks to a streaming video feed somewhere up in the general direction of God, and soon the new title appears. I and the other stragglers scream out suggestions until the answer is obvious: “Monty Python’s Life of Brian.” Current day Brian struggles with the apostrophe, it’s much thinner than the other letters and the suction-cup-on-a-stick can’t grab it. He flails for a while and then masters that tricky punctuation mark that causes so many school children anxiety. Celebratory pictures are taken, and Feldman settles in for the next hour, dreaming scenes from this Python classic until the next title arrives. The excitement, while never quite palpable, continues like the slow trickle of spent rain drops falling on the pavement. If only tonight were in glorious black and white…Oh, wait! It WAS!
“triumph”
“3d feldman”
For more information on Brian Feldman Projects, please visit http://www.brianfeldman.com/
For more information on the Enzian and the Florida Film Festival, visit http://www.enzian.org/</em>
