Control Freaks
Control Freaks
Play De Luna
Presenting at Art’s Sake Theater
Winter Park, FL</strong>
Tonight we begin with a shot of “Fireball”; it’s possibly one of the worst tasting alcoholic beverages ever devised. But I was brave and washed it down with a beer. Perhaps not the best decision of the evening, but I did find my car afterwards. Play De Luna brings eight short plays to stage, and tonight they almost all dealt with dating and romance because: hey, that’s what we are all interested in, right?
“Hitting on Women 101” (By Bruce Kane, dir. Isis Masoud) challenges Angie’s (Yasheera Acevedo) self-image. Shes fully equipped with breasts AND breathes, so why isn’t awkward Tim (Matt Militano) hitting on her? Clever boy, he’s developed a technique so stealthy that it even works occasionally, and this gets to the heart of the bar scene method of dating: If you’re here, you don’t have to say “yes” but you shouldn’t be offended by “would you?”
“Stalk Me Baby” (by C. S. Hanson, dir. Yvonne Suhor) opens in a café, because that’s where we all live these days. Whacked out Hanna (Crystal Black) is convinced the guy one table over is stalking her but all he’s doing is writing a work report. They might hit it off, they might not; but there’s just one piece of advice for this dude: Never stick it in crazy.
Jason Voorhees (Charlie Prince) is enjoying dinner with cute Gabby (Ashley Pinnock) in “The Slasher’s Lament” (by Michael Puzzo, dir. Christy Hamilton Poggi). They search for common ground; he likes Billy Joel, she might put out, his slasher knife is unhappy, but the waitress (Lindsi Jeter) is slow. You know what they say about women who always date the wrong sorts of guys, and Gabby’s a good example.
The big high energy pre- intermission half time show is “How to Succeed in Romance Without Really Connecting.” (by Trace Crawford, dir. Simon Needham). Our hero “Man” (Andy Gion) is nervous around women and relies on “The Book” (Jim Serrano) for bland if helpful advice. The over sexed “Woman” (Deanna Shaekel) believes you only exist when observed and to that end she makes the art of selfie taking an extension of the Kamasutra. Man is overwhelmed, she brings a dildo on first date and fully expects to use it. I’m sure stuff like this might happen in real life; I have just never get to observe it.
Intermission. More Fireball is offered. I wuss out and get another beer instead. I have nothing to prove.
We open Act Two with one of the strongest short plays I’ve seen anywhere. “What Are You Going to Be? (by Stephen Kobar, dir. Stephanie Wilson) visits the parents of a rebellious teen Natalie (Lydia Hubbell) on Halloween night. Mommy (Christy Keating) thought the Lady Gaga outfit was too extreme but now Natalie opts to go out in a full burka. Daddy (Chris Walker) unconvincingly announces he doesn’t want to offend the Muslims until Natalie argues “people go as nuns and sexy ones to boot, so what?” They compromise on sleaze over politics and there is a pregnant discussion of the shades of difference between mocking, parodying, and just pretending. Nuns nuns never seem to shoot up schools but other groups do.
“Resistance Is Fertile” (by Rachel Thompson dir. Joy Kigin) is another cute romantic piece with sci-fi twist. It may be the end of Civilization As They Know It but Henry (Derek Smith) and Emma (Amber Watson) are still alive and they even have a working computer. It’s not much help but they take what they can get. But even computers (Yasheera Acevedo) get bugs, and this one might be fatal. It’s a change of life story, sort of like Adam and Eve getting the boot for dietary reasons.
In “Auto-Corrected” John Connon dir. Derek Angell) Angela (Alexia Maria) and Ben (JT Dickieson) take a picnic lunch up to the scenic overlook for a romantic date. If only Ben could put down his phone for a few hours… Homeless dude (Mark Williams) sets up his lunch next door, and soon he has Ben’s phone. This drives Ben over the edge; he starts talking in auto corrected English. It’s fast, snappy and a good lesson in why it’s better to spell a word wrong than put a wrong word in instead.
We close out with ““Till Death Do Us Part” (by Chris Walker, dir. David Meneses). Sad sack David (Jim Serrano) lost his wife and hopes to get a new main squeeze. His best bet is Samantha (Jessica Montgomery) and their first date went well complete with a trip back to his place. But there’s a minor haunting issue and the Ghostbusters are off saving New York and we end up in a classic short play comedy – only Dave can see his ex-ex Beth (Stephanie Wilson) as she berates him for his past sins and future unhappiness. Samantha can’t follow any of this, and you know her point of view: Run away! Wacko Alert! You know the old saying: all the good ones are gay, taken, or haunted by the ghost of a bitter ex.
So there you have it: We all want someone, we all want acceptance, and we are all too screwed up to make that happen even if we are more messed up than our target mate. Welcome to the dating game just as it’s always been played. Good thing I’m fixed up; all I have to worry about is find some decent booze…
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And to see what Art’s Sake offers check out www.art-sake.com</em>
