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    “Ho ho ho! I just checked my list for an unprecedented THIRD time! You’ll all have to die! Mwuhooohahahahaha!”

  • Got Me An Asphalt Track Date…

    “I like sports. It’s not always the hippest admission in some circles, but I do like sports. But I know few people, while they may scorn baseball or football, whose eyes don’t light up at the mention of that finest of motorsports, Figure Eight School Bus Racing…”

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    “So my estranged lunatic ex-girlfriend, right on time with the first installment of her twice-weekly phone-stalking, calls me up to tell me about her recent experiences as a substitute teacher in the Bay area. She’s mostly been assigned to sub for high school classes, an experience that opened her eyes to the wonders of a liberally-bloated educational system…”

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