Dear Madonna:
Give it up, mama, you’re just not controversial any more. Those days are gone, and they’re not coming back. We enjoyed them very much–especially that way you had of never appearing more emotionally armored than when you were stark naked–but it’s over. You could do a nude split onstage, broadcast it world-wide on the ABC Family Channel, and the most you’d get is a tired yawn. Nobody would be that outraged. They might think they should be, but they wouldn’t.
It’s very important in any show business career to know how to step aside. Let me give you a tip: The way Johnny Carson did it was good. The way Bob Hope did it was bad.
And don’t try to move into the arena of politics for your manipulative little games. We have serious people in that arena trying to fuck with us, we don’t need your titilation, sweetheart.
