It’s Bad To Be Ben Affleck
Here are just some of the reasons why.
Your ex-girlfriend just married another guy, less than six months after she broke your engagement.
Deep inside, you know you’re a fraud as a writer, yeah you have an Academy Award, but so does Akiva Goldsman.
You haven’t made a movie most people really like in about two years, your best movies were at the beginning of your career, and most people don’t like most of your movies.
Your partnership with your friend Kevin isn’t working out as well as you hoped. Used to be you could at least count on his films to do well for you, but after Jersey Girl flopped…(Ben, if you are reading this right now, email me. I’ve got scripts that would be delightful for you).
You’ve been surplanted in the hunk sweepstakes by Orlando Bloom. That’s right, an Elf.
You went through rehab and your life immidiately got worse.
I don’t know how you sleep through the night. Must be on a bed of money.
