Hands on a Hard Body
Hands on a Hard Body
Book by Doug Wright
Lyrics by Amanda Green
Music by Trey Anastasio and Amanda Green
Directed and Choreographed by Scott Cook
Musical Direction by David Foust
Starring Justin J. Scarlat and Michael Colavolpe
Florida Theatricals
Presented at the Garden Theatre, Winter Garden FL</strong>
First off, it’s a truck. A hard body truck. No one else in this show has much resembling a “hard body” except Heather (Karissa Barber), and I’ll get to her shortly. What we have here is a sad collection of East Texans in search of a lottery ticket out of poverty and dead end jobs in a dying economy. The local car dealership (run by righteous Cindy Burns (Candy Marilyn Heller) and sleazy Frank Nugent (Tim Limbacher) offers this stunt in hopes of drawing more foot traffic and more sales. Good luck on that with oil at $30. The truck is cool, it’s a late model black Nissan pick-em-up with cool flames and no more than two or three obvious dents. Deal is this: keep your hand on the truck longer than anyone else, and you drive it off. Assuming you are alive.
Like “Chorus Line”, this show is a collection of loosely related tales, beginning with Benny Perkins (Scarlat). He won two years ago but lost the truck in a divorce. It’s a truism: if you’re in permeant poverty, giving you money won’t fix the problem. Scarlat leads the show with the theme “If I Had a Truck.” A Prius driver will get his ass kicked at any random bar in this town. Benny is one of Scarlet’s darkest roles, and he’s good with a bitter bite in his fat suit role of sweat and desperation. Opposite him is older and no less desperate J. D. Drew (Colavolpe). He got fired for falling off an oil rig, and all he has left is a bitter relation with his wife Virginia (Jessica Hoehn). Can his bad leg out last Benny’s bad sex life?
The other stories are equally compelling, and each one gets a theme song. The audience gasps whenever someone fails, and even that carries a bit of stereotype: Ronald (Jamaal Solomon) is the black dude that get hit first; his snickers bar and orange diet nearly killed him as he describes “That’s my Problem Right Here.” Returned and damaged Marine Chris (Blake Aburn) is particularly touching as his military training only takes him so far until his drifting mind undercuts him with a flashback. Another pair of tear jerkers were the church lady Norma (Desiree Perez), she’s most loveable leading the energetic gospel number “Joy of the Lord” and Spanish Jesus (Kristoffer Cleto) takes the brunt of the Cindy’s racism when his green card is demanded. He has none, nor does he need one as he sings the powerful “Born in Laredo.” And as for lithe Ms. Heather? She tries to cheat but is downed by one simple fact: five days in the Texas sun running on nothing but meth and bottled water will eat your brain.
Yes, there can only be one winner; one winner on stage. All the rest of us won; this was a solidly executed story backed with a live band and real car that the cast spent the evening pushing around. I can’t remember another musical with such a high percentage of potential hits, all executed with Broadway precision.
For more information on The Garden Theatre, please visit www.gardentheatre.org
