A Letter from the Monkey Editor
When Ink Nineteen asked me to come up with an idea for the editorial calendar, I told them to choose monkeys. Far too often, we as Americans neglect our fuzzy cousins, but no more. I want the world to look at these beasts with the admiration they deserve. Monkeys make us laugh, mainly because they look like little hairy humans, and do silly things. Monkeys make us cry because they have sharp teeth. Monkeys make us hungry because people all over the world eat them. Monkeys make us horny because they’re sexy and they like to shag. Monkeys make us warm because their fur is secretly being marketed as “cotton.” Monkeys make us fat because that non-dairy creamer ain’t vegan.
Monkeys monkeys monkeys.
Think of all the wonderful things monkeys have provided for us. Look at all the monkeys in show business. Think of all the fathers and sons who had their first talk about sex while watching the simian cages at the zoo. Think of all the times you forgot about monkeys. Damn you. We here at Ink Nineteen believe it is time to prioritize the importance of the monkey. It is time for the monkey to take over. We officially declare 1998 the Year Of The Monkey, and make the monkey the animal of the year.