Music Reviews

The Goblins

Millennium

Truckstop/Atavistic

Far out, I thought as I opened the CD. This must be the legendary Goblins who did all the incidental music for Dawn of the Dead and some of Dario Argento’s films. Wrong. For even though the album cover boasted of an “enhanced” CD, including a rare German TV performance, I knew back in my mind that the band I was thinking of was called Goblin, singular.

Not that I was disappointed at all! This is a very stupid rock record, and I love stupid rock records! It’s so stupid that it goes beyond stupidity and into novelty.

Meaning: boy, is this dumb.

First of all, their costumes… They’re all in black hoods of cheap fabric except for the long-haired singer, Phantom Creeper, who sports a dimestop “domino” mask, making him look like a hippie trying to be the Lone Ranger for Halloween.

As far as their music is concerned, it’s a cross between a hard-rockin’ bar band with original songs to go between the ‘Skynyrd standards and a bunch of Chicago-area mental patients in “music therapy.” They sing about a sort of event called “Teabaggin” which I believe is synonymous with the pastime of “going to a bar.” They sing of motorcycle love (“Riding on my Ninja”), local bar love (“Bruce’s Empty Bottle 1999”), and pet food love (“Monkey Chow”). While the title track is pleasantly optimistic, “Dr. Clone” is a dark, disturbing, sober tune about just one of the many horrors in the news in these last days.

It can and does get stupider; the “enhanced” portion shows the band live and they look like a retarded, PG-rated Mentors. Too much! Atavistic, P.O. Box 578266, Chicago, IL 60657; http://www.atavistic.com


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